My Toronto Exchange Thread [ P | R ]

[treble41]

We live in Canada Nimreitz, and we're not poor but we don't have much income left after being taxed. Most of my friends ended up going to University of Windsor even though the high school was smart as hell and they should've gone to McGill or Toronto but had to settle for Windsor cos of money.

 

[ShiftyPowers]

Loans? I mean, we have to pay for residence AND tuition down here.

 

[Joe]

We live in Canada Nimreitz, and we're not poor but we don't have much income left after being taxed.

Sucks to be a Canadian, hm?

 

[CarlosDanger]

treble, you exaggerate...

I have plenty of income after tax... you do realize that the fact you can afford university is in part due to those taxes?

 

[bigp]

It's funny how these UofT snobs have to talk **** about York. And one of them goes to UTM no less. In your case you're just being suckered by the UofT brand.

And your friends could've applied for OSAP if they didn't have money.

 

[RobbieD_PL]

Guys, what a whack thanksgiving i had!

Well my good friend and I were invited to the house of a Quebecoise friend of ours. It was great, but i had something troubling on my mind. Something that I had within me for ages, well before I came here to Toronto. I have feelings for that good friend of mind. But unfortunately things didn't go well as planned.
Firstly, the 3 of us went shopping on the Saturday, I only bought boardshorts for the pool, as well as spliting the cost of two handsoap bottles. The two girls had also bought little chocolate boxes. It was only when we got back that my friend told me that it was the father's birthday. I was like "****! it's his birthday and i didn't get him anything " Anyway i felt kind of ****ty from that. I didn't show up at the present giving, but I wished him well for his birthday and apologised for not knowing.

Anyway, well before I went down, I saw my friend on the stairs and she saw me a bit saddened by the whole thing, and she stopped me from going down by grabbing me by the hand, asking me what was wrong. I just said that I had multiple problems. I told her about the whole not-having-a-present thing, then she asked me about the other problems. I said that I can't say it, that I'm not allowed to (well "il est interdit" were my exact words, traduisez ca comme vous voulez). She said "Do you miss your parents?". Taking her cue, I said "I miss you. I like you" I didn't even say that I, in actual fact, love her.
Even tho her response was, "Thanks but no thanks, I have a boyfriend", who she described him to be was the worst part. From what she said in front of everyone at the dinner table, he's apparently a Swiss lawyer who works in Spain, speaks 5 languages and likes to ski. I felt like "How can I compete with a lawyer". For the rest of the week-end the whole time was so ****. I was crying like all f*ck in my room, not wailing tho, so it's not like she heard even tho she was in the room next to me. I even tried slitting my wristveins with my fingernails that night. Now that's ****ed up. I didn't even use those damn boardshorts, not wanting to look at her hotness in a goddamn bikini. Anyway, the only thing we said to eachother for the rest of the time was asking how you slept last night in the morning. How f*cking ironic.

On the way back to campus i just had my head against the car window frame not even bothering to look at her. Man that felt so ****ty. When we arrived back at the campus we both went to open the boot. As it lifted it got me right in the balls Damn, just what I ******* needed Anyway things got put into perspective; I sat down with this mate of mine, who in another twist of irony, is also from Switzerland (it's not the same guy btw). I told him the whole situation and he explained not to worry about her, she seems less mature than me despite her being physically older. That whole lawyer thing seems so f*cked up and implausible that she must be lying. Heck I even asked her before we left if she was single. But I don't think it would be a good idea to delve into any further info on that douche. Anyway, she just came and asked for the laundry detergent that we had split the difference over (Alt+Tab is a godsend). Like a dickface I just gave it to her and she's gone back to her room as ransom, rather than to where the laundry actually is. Damn i shud have just told her to spierdalaj and not give it to her In fact, f*ck it, I'm the mature one, by giving that detergent to her, rather than being a pretentious bitch. btw Sidney Polak's "Otwieram Wino" and Madison Avenue's "Who the Hell Are You?" speaks volumes of truth.

Advice guys? Where shud I go from here? I've been told to go a bit cold turkey, but that won't be easy, we have 3/4 classes together And given the fact I've just seen her outside my door...

 

[Joe]

Thanksgiving in October. That is ******* WHACK son.

There's only way holidays should be celebrated...and that is the American way.

 

[Joe]

Oh PS Reminds me of my own tale. The girl somehow spent two months with me until she got back with her boyfriend--who worked at "Interview" magazine in New York and bought 1,000 dollar handbags. Fashion ****.

Moral of the story for your own: show her why you're better than her boyfriend, bang some beaver, and get the hell out.

 

[RobbieD_PL]

Oh PS Reminds me of my own tale. The girl somehow spent two months with me until she got back with her boyfriend--who worked at "Interview" magazine in New York and bought 1,000 dollar handbags. Fashion ****.

Moral of the story for your own: show her why you're better than her boyfriend, bang some beaver, and get the hell out.

I must say that I hate being spiteful In anycase I'm better than her boyfriend on account of the numbers of languages that I speak: English, Polish, French, Japanese, Italian, German, Latvian (bit of spanish, portuguese, lithuanian, korean, greek, dutch, russian and other slavic langs) {yeh top 14 biatch }

Anyway we're both here untill mid-December, I don't think the town ain't big enough for the both of us can apply. Anyway, maybe this boyfriend is just a figment of this girl's imagination. I certainly hope so.

 

[Joe]

Anyway, I was kidding around.

Here's the deal and maybe you can relate my story to yours. Met this girl in a class, randomly met up the next semester. She was breaking it off with her boyfriend of a year who as back in NYC, started seeing me for about two months. Kind of eased off of me and went back to her boyfriend. I did my best to not show how sad I was. It didn't matter. We went on a road trip to Nashville together (because, in absence of her boyfriend we hung out all the time) and it was in the ninth hour of the eleven hour trip, right outside of Chicago where I lost the battle within myself and became a spiteful ass-wad. This was probably two weeks after. Saying that she didn't understand my feelings and how could she do that to someone and expect me to say nothing or feel nothing about it.

Anyway, I still liked her. And we remained friends off and on since that time. Our biggest time of not talking after another argument was this summer. It started again and as of today in fact--perhaps why I bring it up--I'm re-learning to do the whole ignore/not care she even exists thing again as much as I don't want to. But I just have to figure it was for the best. If I keep talking and holding on to some faith or something it will only make me more miserable. Our best relations were when we didn't talk and maybe that first conversation we had when we caught up. So letting it go again is probably the best thing.

Yes, and the whole time we weren't talking, which I'd say in the past year has been five months of the time...she lived a block away from me in an apartment building I'd see every day and would often run into each other on the street. So there you go.

 

[RobbieD_PL]

Yeh this whole intentional ignoring thing is going to suck. I guess you can only hope that she'll turn around, I dunno.

Damn i really need that detergent for my own clothes now.

 

[Joe]

Yeah, also I learned don't have ANYTHING that connects you to her that gives you hope for a future meeting. Wow, that sounds really harsh.

For instance, two months after I had that big outrage we returned each others movies, CDs and socks (yes, socks). But knowing that stuff was there just made it harder to let go because I knew well, I'd probably have to see her someday...or it only caused emo thoughts like "She has my CD. I wonder if she's listened to it recently...I wonder if she thinks about me when she hears it?" to magnify.

 

[ShiftyPowers]

I felt like "How can I compete with a lawyer".

If it's any consolation, you made me feel fantastic.

First of all she might be lying. In fact, given the fantastic nature of her stories about him she probably is lying. But it doesn't matter. You messed something up and in order to brush you off she said she had a boyfriend. Whether she does is not important, because many girls will just go with the emotional flow they are feeling in the moment and justify it later (he doesn't pay me enough attention). You screwed something up, and likely it was coming on way too strong and showing your interest in her before she was interested in you. That's a major turnoff for pretty much every woman.

So what do you do? First of all, there is no reason to think about this girl ever again. You haven't dated her, you haven't slept with her, there is NO reason why you should be obsessed. It's natural and it happens to most guys at some point in their lives, but it is pointless and doesn't help you or anyone else. Find other girls; you are in TORONTO, one of the biggest cities in the world, and you say that it's not big enough for the both of you? Give it a rest man. Honestly, the only chance you have to ever win this girl over is to not care about the rejection, and try to make her jealous by dating other women. That's it. Now, you should do that naturally, but if you need a girl centered reason for why you should move on, that should tide you over.

You probably will never win her over, but by not caring and dating other women you put yourself in the best position. By dwelling on this and talking to her about it you make things even worse, she will start to resent you. Don't sit by her in class, don't do extra-curriculars with her, and expand your circle of friends. If she talks to you be polite but brief. Say you are busy and really need to get going.

 

[RobbieD_PL]

If it's any consolation, you made me feel fantastic.

Are you going to pos-rep for that?

Anyway, yeh well i REALLY REALLY find that lawyer thing to be implausible, so it's easy to compete with no competition.

 

[ShiftyPowers]

Are you going to pos-rep for that?

Anyway, yeh well i REALLY REALLY find that lawyer thing to be implausible, so it's easy to compete with no competition.

No it isn't. You aren't competing against another guy, you are competing with the girl's emotions, and that's true whether she has a boyfriend or not. She's not emotionally attracted, move on.

 

[RobbieD_PL]

No it isn't. You aren't competing against another guy, you are competing with the girl's emotions, and that's true whether she has a boyfriend or not. She's not emotionally attracted, move on.

I dont understand that, it's not like i want to compete with anything.

EDIT: Well I just feel that going out with other girls would be kind of spiteful. And I didn't say that Toronto is not big enough for the both of us lol. I said the opposite.

I don't think I came on strong either, I actually didn't want to tell her because I had a feeling that this sort of rejection would have happened. It was kind of forced out lol. All i said was 6 words. Is that too strong?

I can deal with the idea of not sitting with her, that's fine.

As for the short and sweet conversations, the EXACT same thing happened back home at the start of 1st semester. Well the friend here was with me, and it was this girl that I liked in high school that I did it too. She was shocked to see me with another girl lol. So I guess I have previous experience in that regard.

 

[Joe]

Yeah tough advice from the Strauss protege.

Sad but true as I've learned.

 

[ShiftyPowers]

EDIT: Well I just feel that going out with other girls would be kind of spiteful. And I didn't say that Toronto is not big enough for the both of us lol. I said the opposite.

I don't think I came on strong either, I actually didn't want to tell her because I had a feeling that this sort of rejection would have happened. It was kind of forced out lol. All i said was 6 words. Is that too strong?

It isn't spiteful. It would be spiteful if you guys broke up this weekend and you started dating women around her. It's not spiteful if there's no reason for her to care, and it's clear that at this point she doesn't care.

Your 6 words might as well have been a 6 page declaration of love. How long have you known her? Why do you like her? Has she shown that she feels the same way? It doesn't make sense to say that to someone who does not feel the same way; you either have to get them to feel the same, or you have to move on. Anything you do directed at her will now come across as try-hard and you will look like a guy who can't keep things in perspective, who has no other options, and who doesn't understand social interaction (since you keep pressing after she has said no). It sucks dude. It ******* sucks. But you didn't just get dumped, your reaction is way out of proportion to what actually happened.

You're talking to a guy who felt the same way you now feel for over two weeks straight; I still go back to those crappy feelings if I get the right stimulus and it's been 3 months now. I know it sucks. But you are being counter productive and your reaction is out of proportion. You are feeling the same way about getting turned down for a first date that I felt after getting dumped by someone I dated for 9 months.

 

[Joe]

But you didn't just get dumped, your reaction is way out of proportion to what actually happened.

Very true.

Now go listen to Dry Your Eyes by The Streets.

 

[RobbieD_PL]

It isn't spiteful. It would be spiteful if you guys broke up this weekend and you started dating women around her. It's not spiteful if there's no reason for her to care, and it's clear that at this point she doesn't care.

Your 6 words might as well have been a 6 page declaration of love. How long have you known her? Why do you like her? Has she shown that she feels the same way? It doesn't make sense to say that to someone who does not feel the same way; you either have to get them to feel the same, or you have to move on. Anything you do directed at her will now come across as try-hard and you will look like a guy who can't keep things in perspective, who has no other options, and who doesn't understand social interaction (since you keep pressing after she has said no). It sucks dude. It ******* sucks. But you didn't just get dumped, your reaction is way out of proportion to what actually happened.

I've known her since July 14 2006. It was a Bastille soiree that I first saw her. We even helped each other out in organising this whole exchange here. Well I wasn't wanting to tell her then and there at Thanksgiving anyway, the atmosphere was really bad. I have no idea if she ever felt the same way, we get on really well, but as with even friendships there were some ups and downs. But overall we were quite friendly i think, focusing on the negatives doesn't help lol. Waiting for so long to tell her wasn't the best decision i made either, it was too long lol. Well of course I'm not going to pressure her, I have more important things to do.