Bobby in LA-LA Land.


The Legend
I play FM 2007 because I'm too cheap to buy the new one. Shut up.

I decided to start a new game and realized that for an American I know remarkably little about Major League Soccer. Probably because my "local" club is 500 miles away in a city I have very little in common with so I just never had any interest in it.

Anyway I decided to take over Los Angeles because it's the city I like the most out of the MLS cities that are in the game (Seattle, Portland, and Vancouver are all still in the lower divisions in this game and you can't play them).

The fans don't like me, the first thing I saw was that they "wasted no time" in telling the board that they were "disgusted" with my appointment. Whatever, fuck 'em, they don't matter.

My first order of business was to make some money for the boys so I scheduled a bunch of friendlies in North Carolina. Charlotte, Wilmington and Greensboro. Then against BYU because I thought it was funny that BYU is in the game. I won all of them because of course I did, I have Landon Donovan and they play in the USL.

I signed some players:

This is where my lack of knowledge may hurt me, I traded a ton of something called supplemental picks for Adde because New York owned his rights even though he was a free agent. Medo was $300k from a team called KuPS.

MLS is a Spring-Fall league so it doesn't start until March but the CONCACAF Champions Cup (which at this point was a complete joke) starts before that. I was drawn against a team from Belize called Kulture Yabra (!!!) and beat the 5-0 at home before drawing 0-0 at the cricket ground they play at. That was good. Next I played Colorado in the league and beat them 1-0.

Up next was another CCC game this time against Mexican giants Club America. I drew 0-0 in Los Angeles which is what I was hoping for if I couldn't win. I had a couple of opportunities but Cornell Glen isn't the best finisher in the world, goalkeeper Kevin Hartman pulled my ass out of the fire a few times. Sandwiched between the two legs of that tie was a trip to Pizza Hut Park to play FC Dallas who I disposed of with great ease because they're completely horrible, but Landon Donovan got hurt in the process and is out for a month which made some pee come out when I read it.

So I faced the daunting task of having to go to the Azteca and get a win or a scoring draw without my best player. I started my two signings this time and immediately thought it was a terrible decision because they were all over me but Blanco (who happens to be fat) couldn't score. Suddenly Medo picks up the ball in the center circle and spots Michael Enfield running unmarked out on the wing, he fed the ball out to him and Enfield ran with it into space. In the box Ibrahim managed to shed his marker long enough for Enfield to find him just above the penalty spot and fired the ball just inside the far post. America didn't take this lying down and came heavy with the pressure but the defense held until halftime. Enfield was in terrible shape after he was on the wrong end of a two-footed challenge (just a booking!) so he had to be subbed off for Gonzalez who happens to be not very good. Just after halftime fat Blanco finally scored and I was gutted, they kept applying pressure and getting shot after shot. After about 20 minutes of constant bombardment my right back Chris Albright unceremoniously hoofed the ball clear and their defender missed his clearance allowing Herculez Gomez (who came on for the tired Ibrahim) to latch onto it. He sent the ball into the box where Medo headed it wildly only for the defender to scuff it into his own goal. I slid across the floor. I was able to hold on to that and advance.

Anyway, this is where I am now. I might update this.

I should tag this as #longform like all those people on Twitter do.


Staff member
I had a good game with Columbus Crew for about three seasons on this version of the game. Johnson my was star striker I believe. Yeah, you should get Johnson. Johnson's the bomb.


Team Captain
LA were my MLS team in 06. Kirk had a lot of potential. Same with Nik Basagno from another team. Cobi Jones was old.


The Legend
I remember when Kirk played in the U-17 World Cup. I think Altidore and Omar Gonzalez were in that squad too.

Managed to win the Champions Cup, but it was a fight. I won the first leg 3-0 (despite losing handedly to the same team not long before which is so MLS) so I thought it was pretty well in hand which couldn't have been farther from the truth. They came out and scored twice in the first eleven minutes and hit the bar in the 18th. I managed to tighten up just enough to hold on to that score. Of course I was furious at the team because they played like shit but Nathan Sturgis seemed confused as to why (incidentally the first was entirely his fault) as you can see from the headline.

About a third of the way through the season and I'm leading the Western Conference (though I trail Chicago overall on goal difference). Not bad but every match seems to be seat of the pants stuff. I've got to find a way to defend better but I'm not exactly blessed with a wealth of class in that area.

Donovan and Medo are back but Enfield and Quaranta are out now. The joys of limited rosters.


The Legend
That picture is amazing.

24 games into the season, in addition to this I'm into the semi-finals of the cup after beating Minnesota 1-0, and New York 3-2 in extra-time. The NY win shouldn't have been so close but Rimando got a 5 (!) and Conway (NY's GK) got a 9. Thankfully Nagamura was amazing in midfield.

I tightened up the defense some by switching Sturgis to the center and playing Randolph at left back. Albright got injured so I had to reshuffle again.

At one point I had a run of four 0-0's which was amazingly infuriating.

Medo is probably done for the season, I *might* get him back for the playoffs, but I doubt it. That sucks because he was playing really well. Easily the best of my three signings, Abbe hasn't scored since the America game and Fausto has yet to feature.

The Arsenal way.


The Legend

Only took him four months to score again.

Also, Nick Rimando was demanding to start awhile ago and I agreed to his demands and made him the number 1 because Hartman was playing poorly. 13 matches later and he's still "unhappy", does that ever go away?

Edit: So this all happened,

I do a ton of things to get the club's finances in order, replace overpaid players with cheap bang-for-your-buck guys, win in competitions that bring in money, fill the stadium, and they cut my budget? No thanks.

Tell them, Landon.

They also proceeded to reject the contracts of players like Enfield and Hansen who I felt had bright futures with the team. So I'll be looking for a new job, possibly in Portugal but I'd take another MLS offer on if it came. In the meantime:

Don't wanna work for Phil Anschutz anyway.


The Legend
At this point I'm probably just post-boosting.

I won the League...err, Supporter's Shield, which looks like this:

Managed to pip Chicago on the final day after New York scored a late equalizer against them as I drew at Houston. Houston is filled with shit-kicking bastards and playing them on the final day of the regular season means I'm facing this going into the Playoffs and Copa Sudamericana Second Round:

Playoff beards...uhh, casts for everyone!


The Legend
Despite the injuries I went onto win the MLS Cup. I beat Chivas in the first round, Salt Lake in the conference final, and Chicago in the final. I was glad when Salt Lake beat Houston because Houston gave me shit all season.

At this point I was just seeing out my contract so I started to apply for jobs and it really pissed off the board and fans. Birmingham and West Brom were all like "Who do you think you are? You think you're good enough to manage a sub-par field-filler like this? You're not." So they rejected me. Then I applied for the USA job and got it but it'll be a long time before I play a game with them. I applied for a Portuguese club called Lixa but they decided to keep their current manager.

I still had matches to play, the Sudamerican and Club World Cup were still on tap so I went ahead with them. Medo came back from injury so I started playing him again. I beat Bolivar and Once Caldes to draw Boca in the semi-final. I actually beat them in LA but got absolutely sodomized away from home. I had like one shot. Lost 3-1 on aggregate. So that was fun. The CWC was boring, I beat a terrible Auckland 8-0 and got Barca in the semi-final. They only beat me 1-0! Of course, they had 22 shots to my 2, but still. Yeah. I finished third after I beat Al-Ittihad from Saudi Arabia 2-1 in the third place match.

My contract officially ran out on December 31st but for some reason I'm still at LA. I have no contract and no support, but I'm still there. I applied for the open Braga job and declared my interest in Preston and they got PISSED.

So here I am, headed into pre-season without a contract and the supporters protesting my existence. I'm actually wondering how long I can stay in the job like this.


The Legend

I stayed at LA until late April. I got to the Champions Cup final and won four MLS games then the offer to manage Santa Clara came along. I looked it up and found out that Santa Clara is in the Azores (which is why is says so on the badge! *slaps forehead*) and I just saw an episode of Simply Ming about the Azores and it looked pretty cool so I took the job. They play here.

I just had to avoid relegation, it was easy. I won 3 and drew 1. My win over Leixoes actually ended up costing them promotion. You'll see that a transfer fell through. I tried to sign Ryan Pore on loan because Donovan, Enfield, Quaranta, and Ibrahim are all dealing with extended injuries and when Donovan gets fit again I plan on calling him into the USA squad for the Gold Cup. Good luck to the next LA manager.

I don't really have much interest in managing Santa Clara though, I'm hoping Chivas USA go on a really shitty run of form so I can do a heel turn.



The Legend
I'm somewhat of an American treasure both in real life and in Football Manager now.

Following the season with Santa Clara I started my summer campaign with the USA which included both the Gold Cup and the Confederations Cup. After largely walking the Gold Cup, which save for scraps with Mexico and St. Martin (who I actually trailed for about 30 minutes!) was easy, I went to the Confederations Cup.

This was played in bits while I watched a Charlie's Angels marathon on Universal HD. I'm obsessed with the original run of that show.

I thought my 3-0 win over Egypt was pretty good but it turns out Italy and Australia beat them even worse which made it tough on goal differential. I drew with Italy which meant I had to get a result against Australia on matchday 3 and just managed to eek out a 1-0 victory against a really resilient side. Second wasn't great though as this meant I faced Brazil.

The team was really up for this one and actually stood in with Brazil blow-for-blow. Gomez started this one with Rossi (I know, I know!) taking the suspended Donovan's playmaker role. It wasn't a classic goal by any means, Rossi got in the way of a Dani Alvez clearance and Gomez latched onto it in the box. I don't care how it looked, I'll take it.

That set up this final against Italy, I'll let the screens do the talking.

Five of Italy's shots came in stoppage time, I swear I was about to piss my pants. Howard was incredible.

Now down to the business of either preparing Santa Clara for a new season or finding a new job.


The Legend
This is a really great Tumblr: How can anyone not love Cheryl Ladd from that era? Un.fucking.real.

I've started the season with Santa Clara pretty well. The first three matches were a gauntlet, Beira-Mar, Académica, and Vitória de Guimarães. All of them are predicted to finish in the top four (Vitória picked to win the league). I drew with Beira-Mar 1-1, got beaten 2-1 by Académica after I equalized in the 80th minute, and stole (really) a big three points against Vitória.

Sitting 9th after three games. The board and fans are expecting me to fend off relegation (media prediction is 12th), so I'll take that result. I'm worried about the massive amount of debt the club is carrying though.

So far two MLS jobs (Chicago and Houston) have opened up and the media has asked me about both of them, I told them I'm not interested which delighted Santa Clara. It's not out of loyalty though, it's just that I'm waiting for one of LA's rivals (San Jose or Chivas USA).

Edit: Just realized SJ's not in this game!


The Legend
A few days ago Deadspin posted one of their reviews of morning sports radio shows and talked about how Katherine Webb was thankful to Brent Musberger for "jump-starting" (or just starting, really) her career in television by repeatedly saying how attractive she was during the BCS title game. Someone in the comments said that she's "80s hot", which is something that I hadn't thought about before but seems to really hit the nail on the head. I guess I'm pretty into that, though more specifically the late 70s - early 80s type. Bo Derek in "10" is basically the epitome of that, I'm 100% certain she's entirely to explain for my affinity for women with cornrows. She's actually still hot to this day.

This could really use some input from Yoss.

So a third of the way through the season and we're doing pretty well, sitting fourth though that could drop a few spots depending on other results. You can see that Académica and Beira-Mar are threatening to gap the league. Beira-Mar are actually in the UEFA Cup too because they got to the final of the Taça last year. Vitória started slowly but they seem to have turned the corner.

Results including the Taça de Portugal win against lower division Machico. Very few of the games have been comfortable, but the results are all that matters. That loss against Chaves SUCKED, my goalkeeper got injured and the backup conceded a ridiculously soft goal.

If I can take 18 points every 10 games I'll be pleased with that.


Hahahaha, Santa Clara! :D That's my gf's team!(she's from Açores)

You should reach for loans from Porto/Benfica/Sporting, that should get you players who are decent enough for promotion and you don't have to spend a lot of money!


The Legend
The Azores suddenly became a lot more interesting!

Yeah, I'm looking at some players I can bring in on loan. I have to offload some first though because I've filled my registration. I'm desperately in need of some depth on the left side of the field. I have three players for two positions (one AM L, one DL, and one who can do both).