it's obvious that steven seagal is the man. mr. t and chuck norris are close seconds but vin diesel is still in training diapers when it comes to being the man
here are some chuck norris ones i got in my email a while back:
Filming on location for Walker: Texas Ranger, Chuck Norris brought a
stillborn baby lamb back to life by giving it a prolonged beard rub.
Shortly after the farm animal sprang back to life and a crowd had gathered,
Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked the animal, breaking its neck, to remind the
crew once more that Chuck giveth, and the good Chuck, he taketh away.
Chuck Norris built a time machine and went back in time to stop the JFK
assassination. As Oswald shot, Chuck met all three bullets with his beard,
deflecting them. JFK's head exploded out of sheer amazement.
If you ask Chuck Norris what time it is, he always says, "Two seconds
till." After you ask, "Two seconds to what?" he roundhouse kicks you in the
face.
Chuck Norris uses ribbed condoms inside out, so he gets the pleasure.
chuck norris' tears cure cancer, too bad he never cries
It was once believed that Chuck Norris actually lost a fight to a pirate,
but that is a lie, created by Chuck Norris himself to lure more pirates to
him. Pirates never were very smart.
Chuck Norris recently had the idea to sell his urine as a canned energy drink.
We now know this beverage as Red Bull.
Macgyver can build an airplane out of gum and paper clips, but Chuck Norris
can kill him and take it.
Chuck Norris had sex with a man, it is not because he is gay, but
because he has run out of women.
Chuck Norris is the only male human to give birth. His only child; Vin Diesel.
Chuck norris doesn't read, he stares at a book till he gets the information he wants