The 2007 SoccerGaming Awards Ceremony
Sponsored by:
Betadine
The Kenan & Kell Foundation for the Feable of Mind
The Vatican Nuclear Commitee
CDP - "Just one step away from the Unknown"
Yo Momma
Betadine
The Kenan & Kell Foundation for the Feable of Mind
The Vatican Nuclear Commitee
CDP - "Just one step away from the Unknown"
Yo Momma
Welcome, ladies and gentlemen, to the annual SoccerGaming Awards Ceremony!
[applause]
Your host for this evening, from the far-away land of chocolate, fries and child molestation: Tajike!
[wild, orgasmic applause]
Thank you, ladies and gents. Thank you very much! This evening we will present to you the few lucky ones who take home some shiny imaginary silverware, followed by celebrations with their jolly imaginary friends. Between all the prizes we will have entertainment galore ands me. Let's start of with our first musical guest of the evening. From the fairytale country of India, a magical hardcore trance trip: King and His Posse with "Tiny Indian cojones"
[cue singing and happiness]
The first prize we give away is that one for Best Austro-Hispanic Poster, an understated award, forgotten by the political correctness of this board. The nominees were: #1Stunna/Leungtl/Rob. And the winner of the "Si, senhor, that walabi is mine" Award is:
Rob!
Grand showing, old chap!
For our next award, we've invited an old fan favourite of this board. From New-Zealand, with a nice semi-smile on his face: Larry!
[a platypus with a blooded beak comes on, 911 and animal protection people storm backstage exclaiming in full horror: "Oh God, no! He did it again!"]
It seems problems have arisen for our Down Under friend with an unusual sexual appatite for platypus... This means I will award the The "Pauly Shore has nothing on me" Award for the Funniest Poster of the Year. Nominees are: Sir Sir_Didier_Drogba/Dragan T/Run DMB. And the award goes to:
Dragan T!
Pileci Supa 4 Ever, you fluffy little luckbox!
The following award will bring tears to some lucky unlucky ones. Brought to us by the Red Cross organization and Unicef, because African children really die...
[intimate silence/small children in the audience start crying]
Because of you, Worst Poster of the Year! The nominess are: SouthAfricaFan/didy/Lee Stewart, with the winner being and having the death of millions of children on his account:
SouthAfricaFan!
You giggly bastard...
We still have one award before the break. Generally, noobs are avoided by most of us. But some of them have shone through this year like the deadly UV-rays of the Sun. The nominees in the "15 minutes of Fame" category are: Justme_UK/ShavedGirl/Mandieta6. And the Best Newcomer of the Year is:
Justme_UK!
Unshaven, not stirred...
We'll be back after the break!
Welcome back, ladies, gentlemen, mole people!
Before we start this second part of the show, we'll be having some emo time. Most of us know that Tom, a member with a big heart, has shown some healthy man-loving for young actress Emma Watson. He even wrote her a letter, signed with his blood and sperm to get the point across in a subtle way. We asked Ms. Watson to join us during this show to reply, but because of her part in the London Theatre show "Equus", alongside Daniel Radcliffe, playing the t(o/a)ken horse of the show, she send us the following e-mail:
I feel some love in the air for our party couple!
On to the next award. Some people would give their life for this board, they would sacrifice their anal virginity to help us. One of those members was chosen, by all of you, to win the Lifetime Achievement Award. Winner of the "I saved hundreds of hairy asses in 'Nam" Award:
::shinji::!
May the bacalhau be with you!
Two awards for the price of one: Best Post of the Year & Best Thread of the Year will be awarded to those who made this year on SG bearable. They were the diamonds in a field of posting manure. They were Gods among men. They were the sunshines in our lifes. Best Post of the Year goes to:
Sir Sir_Didier_Drogba!
Hur hur hur!
And Best Thread of the Year goes to:
Tajike!
http://www.soccergaming.com/forums/showthread.php?t=141380
Congratulations, you awesome wonder of nature!
Two more awards will be given away today, as we will keep the most important ones for tomorrow. But first: Music!
From the underground punk circuit, bringing a hommage to the ultra ballads of yesteryear. Please welcome mika, singing "Big Boobs and Perestroijka"
[cue singing, dancing, women taking their clothes off]
The next award in our seamingly endless list of worthless silver pseudo-cutlery, we bring the award for the member who learned the trade of posting from his favourite Siberian prostitute. Now, the mentee has over-whored the mentor: better use of hands, takes it in the face like a champ and if this fails he's the best at spitting out more of the same. Nominees for Postwhore of the Year are: Didy/loz99/SouthAfricaFan. The one who's best and cheapest of them all is:
loz99!
You give very best love!
The last award of the day will be the one of Miss SoccerGaming 2007. One member of this board has earned himself the man-love of several, if not all members of SoccerGaming. Yes, even I spanked the monkey at the very sight of this marvelous human being in a moment of weakness. Nominees for Miss SoccerGaming 2007 are: Lee Stewart/ShiftyPowers/$teauA.
The most beautiful of them all is:
$teauA!
That was it for today. But don't worry, we will continue this show tomorrow for even more entertaining extraveganza and hilarity!
Tajike, you sick, high on crack, perverted, hilarious bastard
