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Manchester United Thread [2005/2006]
- Thread starter Fernandez
- Start date
- Status
NGAFOOTBALLKING
Senior Squad
Park i really wish kaka but thats never going to happen
MARK BOSNICH
I will never, ever, ever forgive the fatty sniffer for making me look silly in front of Sir in Brazil when he made a mess of two brilliantly perfect back passes from me. He had the nerve to blame me, Gary Neville, the bestest right-back (the hardest position in football) at the greatest club in the whole wide world ever! That's when I told Sir it would never work.
And he shouted at me (but I didn't cry. Much) once for using some of his talc on my winkie after a shower. What kind of talc costs £50 a gram though? Certainly not Karate!, which is my special favourite because mum says it makes me smell like a man.
And he's a Tory and everyone knows that Sir and me vote Labour (by the way, I think Sir should be Prime Minister and then I could be in his cabinet. Again).
MASSIMO TAIBI
A tramp. I once caught him sleeping in the goalmouth at Carrington. That's when I told Sir it would never work. He never did his homework and always tried to get out of having a bath - and then he had the cheek to tell Sir when I tried to get his kit off and drag him in! That's when he had mud on his knees for two whole weeks. And he wouldn't even let me spit on my hanky and rub it off like Mum does.
I miss him.
FABIEN BARTHEZ
A silly, silly man who thought he had the bushiest moustache on the whole team - I think he must have been jealous because his girlfriend Linda obviously thought that I was much more handsome with a much thicker moustache, and Mum agreed. And so did Phil after the Chinese burn. But I had to break her heart because we all know girls smell. That's when I told Sir it would never work.
I once asked David if I could kiss him on the head like Blankety-Blanc (
) did to Barthez before every game, but he said some very rude words to me. This is how you know David really, really likes you.
ANDY GORAM
A nice, cuddly man who reminded me of Matron.
ROY CARROLL
Sweaty Sock Roy is leaving the greatest club in the world ever now because Sir said he wouldn't give him any money and would only pay him in chips. I don't know what's wrong with that - Wayne gets paid in chips (and sausages for goals) and he's very happy. I would play for Action Men or bottles of Karate!. I helped Sir take the wheels off Roy's caravan so he couldn't take it with him.
I hope he plays for a Premiership club next season so that I can score lots and lots of spectacular goals. I scored one in training once against Roy. That's when I told Sir it would never work.
(By the way, whatever people say, that wasn't a goal against Tottenham. It's just that the light and the way that the grass was cut made it look like it was. In fact, lots and lots of goals have been given against us at Old Trafford that were never goals at all. So there.)
RICARDO
My best friend at the club - he was the only one who never told me to f*** off. And despite what Rio says, this is not because he can't speak English.
TIM HOWARD
Says a lot of rude words (like 'ass'! He he) but not as many as Roy and Sir. Apparently he is autistic (I lent him Rainman so he could understand but I don't think he knows how to use a DVD). Sir is trying to tap into his powers so he can win at horse racing. He let me put a bet on once of 23p - which is exactly half what Sweaty Sock Roy was paid before he left.
I found out that Tim is American. That's when I told Sir it would never work.
http://www.football365.com/features/fun_features/story_154260.shtml
I will never, ever, ever forgive the fatty sniffer for making me look silly in front of Sir in Brazil when he made a mess of two brilliantly perfect back passes from me. He had the nerve to blame me, Gary Neville, the bestest right-back (the hardest position in football) at the greatest club in the whole wide world ever! That's when I told Sir it would never work.
And he shouted at me (but I didn't cry. Much) once for using some of his talc on my winkie after a shower. What kind of talc costs £50 a gram though? Certainly not Karate!, which is my special favourite because mum says it makes me smell like a man.
And he's a Tory and everyone knows that Sir and me vote Labour (by the way, I think Sir should be Prime Minister and then I could be in his cabinet. Again).
MASSIMO TAIBI
A tramp. I once caught him sleeping in the goalmouth at Carrington. That's when I told Sir it would never work. He never did his homework and always tried to get out of having a bath - and then he had the cheek to tell Sir when I tried to get his kit off and drag him in! That's when he had mud on his knees for two whole weeks. And he wouldn't even let me spit on my hanky and rub it off like Mum does.
I miss him.
FABIEN BARTHEZ
A silly, silly man who thought he had the bushiest moustache on the whole team - I think he must have been jealous because his girlfriend Linda obviously thought that I was much more handsome with a much thicker moustache, and Mum agreed. And so did Phil after the Chinese burn. But I had to break her heart because we all know girls smell. That's when I told Sir it would never work.
I once asked David if I could kiss him on the head like Blankety-Blanc (
) did to Barthez before every game, but he said some very rude words to me. This is how you know David really, really likes you.ANDY GORAM
A nice, cuddly man who reminded me of Matron.
ROY CARROLL
Sweaty Sock Roy is leaving the greatest club in the world ever now because Sir said he wouldn't give him any money and would only pay him in chips. I don't know what's wrong with that - Wayne gets paid in chips (and sausages for goals) and he's very happy. I would play for Action Men or bottles of Karate!. I helped Sir take the wheels off Roy's caravan so he couldn't take it with him.
I hope he plays for a Premiership club next season so that I can score lots and lots of spectacular goals. I scored one in training once against Roy. That's when I told Sir it would never work.
(By the way, whatever people say, that wasn't a goal against Tottenham. It's just that the light and the way that the grass was cut made it look like it was. In fact, lots and lots of goals have been given against us at Old Trafford that were never goals at all. So there.)
RICARDO
My best friend at the club - he was the only one who never told me to f*** off. And despite what Rio says, this is not because he can't speak English.
TIM HOWARD
Says a lot of rude words (like 'ass'! He he) but not as many as Roy and Sir. Apparently he is autistic (I lent him Rainman so he could understand but I don't think he knows how to use a DVD). Sir is trying to tap into his powers so he can win at horse racing. He let me put a bet on once of 23p - which is exactly half what Sweaty Sock Roy was paid before he left.
I found out that Tim is American. That's when I told Sir it would never work.
http://www.football365.com/features/fun_features/story_154260.shtml
TheBlueBalla
Starting XI
Andrejs said:MARK BOSNICH
I will never, ever, ever forgive the fatty sniffer for making me look silly in front of Sir in Brazil when he made a mess of two brilliantly perfect back passes from me. He had the nerve to blame me, Gary Neville, the bestest right-back (the hardest position in football) at the greatest club in the whole wide world ever! That's when I told Sir it would never work.
And he shouted at me (but I didn't cry. Much) once for using some of his talc on my winkie after a shower. What kind of talc costs £50 a gram though? Certainly not Karate!, which is my special favourite because mum says it makes me smell like a man.
And he's a Tory and everyone knows that Sir and me vote Labour (by the way, I think Sir should be Prime Minister and then I could be in his cabinet. Again).
MASSIMO TAIBI
A tramp. I once caught him sleeping in the goalmouth at Carrington. That's when I told Sir it would never work. He never did his homework and always tried to get out of having a bath - and then he had the cheek to tell Sir when I tried to get his kit off and drag him in! That's when he had mud on his knees for two whole weeks. And he wouldn't even let me spit on my hanky and rub it off like Mum does.
I miss him.
FABIEN BARTHEZ
A silly, silly man who thought he had the bushiest moustache on the whole team - I think he must have been jealous because his girlfriend Linda obviously thought that I was much more handsome with a much thicker moustache, and Mum agreed. And so did Phil after the Chinese burn. But I had to break her heart because we all know girls smell. That's when I told Sir it would never work.
I once asked David if I could kiss him on the head like Blankety-Blanc (
ANDY GORAM
A nice, cuddly man who reminded me of Matron.
ROY CARROLL
Sweaty Sock Roy is leaving the greatest club in the world ever now because Sir said he wouldn't give him any money and would only pay him in chips. I don't know what's wrong with that - Wayne gets paid in chips (and sausages for goals) and he's very happy. I would play for Action Men or bottles of Karate!. I helped Sir take the wheels off Roy's caravan so he couldn't take it with him.
I hope he plays for a Premiership club next season so that I can score lots and lots of spectacular goals. I scored one in training once against Roy. That's when I told Sir it would never work.
(By the way, whatever people say, that wasn't a goal against Tottenham. It's just that the light and the way that the grass was cut made it look like it was. In fact, lots and lots of goals have been given against us at Old Trafford that were never goals at all. So there.)
RICARDO
My best friend at the club - he was the only one who never told me to f*** off. And despite what Rio says, this is not because he can't speak English.
TIM HOWARD
Says a lot of rude words (like 'ass'! He he) but not as many as Roy and Sir. Apparently he is autistic (I lent him Rainman so he could understand but I don't think he knows how to use a DVD). Sir is trying to tap into his powers so he can win at horse racing. He let me put a bet on once of 23p - which is exactly half what Sweaty Sock Roy was paid before he left.
I found out that Tim is American. That's when I told Sir it would never work.
http://www.football365.com/features/fun_features/story_154260.shtml
HAHA! I love those Neville-perspective evaluations. Kudos to whoever writes them.
Personally, I think Essien staying at Lyon for another year means that, when next summer rolls around, its between ManU and Madrid to fight for his signature. Im sure they will have made a place by then, and if all goes as before, and the Van der Saar move is a sign of things to come, then it looks as if life as normal will resume after this summer in terms of transfers. That means, with acquiring park this year, you could have a midfield of...
---Rooney----Park----Ronaldo----
------Essien------Fletch--------
and thats if a declining Scholes or Giggs arent up to it. A midfield like that could carry you through for another half decade without tampering. The oldest player would be like 25
Andrejs said:MARK BOSNICH
I will never, ever, ever forgive the fatty sniffer for making me look silly in front of Sir in Brazil when he made a mess of two brilliantly perfect back passes from me. He had the nerve to blame me, Gary Neville, the bestest right-back (the hardest position in football) at the greatest club in the whole wide world ever! That's when I told Sir it would never work.
And he shouted at me (but I didn't cry. Much) once for using some of his talc on my winkie after a shower. What kind of talc costs £50 a gram though? Certainly not Karate!, which is my special favourite because mum says it makes me smell like a man.
And he's a Tory and everyone knows that Sir and me vote Labour (by the way, I think Sir should be Prime Minister and then I could be in his cabinet. Again).
MASSIMO TAIBI
A tramp. I once caught him sleeping in the goalmouth at Carrington. That's when I told Sir it would never work. He never did his homework and always tried to get out of having a bath - and then he had the cheek to tell Sir when I tried to get his kit off and drag him in! That's when he had mud on his knees for two whole weeks. And he wouldn't even let me spit on my hanky and rub it off like Mum does.
I miss him.
FABIEN BARTHEZ
A silly, silly man who thought he had the bushiest moustache on the whole team - I think he must have been jealous because his girlfriend Linda obviously thought that I was much more handsome with a much thicker moustache, and Mum agreed. And so did Phil after the Chinese burn. But I had to break her heart because we all know girls smell. That's when I told Sir it would never work.
I once asked David if I could kiss him on the head like Blankety-Blanc (
ANDY GORAM
A nice, cuddly man who reminded me of Matron.
ROY CARROLL
Sweaty Sock Roy is leaving the greatest club in the world ever now because Sir said he wouldn't give him any money and would only pay him in chips. I don't know what's wrong with that - Wayne gets paid in chips (and sausages for goals) and he's very happy. I would play for Action Men or bottles of Karate!. I helped Sir take the wheels off Roy's caravan so he couldn't take it with him.
I hope he plays for a Premiership club next season so that I can score lots and lots of spectacular goals. I scored one in training once against Roy. That's when I told Sir it would never work.
(By the way, whatever people say, that wasn't a goal against Tottenham. It's just that the light and the way that the grass was cut made it look like it was. In fact, lots and lots of goals have been given against us at Old Trafford that were never goals at all. So there.)
RICARDO
My best friend at the club - he was the only one who never told me to f*** off. And despite what Rio says, this is not because he can't speak English.
TIM HOWARD
Says a lot of rude words (like 'ass'! He he) but not as many as Roy and Sir. Apparently he is autistic (I lent him Rainman so he could understand but I don't think he knows how to use a DVD). Sir is trying to tap into his powers so he can win at horse racing. He let me put a bet on once of 23p - which is exactly half what Sweaty Sock Roy was paid before he left.
I found out that Tim is American. That's when I told Sir it would never work.
http://www.football365.com/features/fun_features/story_154260.shtml
Man United still generates more revenue than any other club.
Manchester United are still the world's top club when it comes to generating revenue, according to new figures. Deloitte's annual report into football's finances revealed the club are still ahead of Chelsea when it comes to generating money - despite the London side's billionaire backer Roman Abrahmovich. But the London club now dwarf United's spending power when it comes to wages and salaries, after seeing their annual bill rise 110% while United's fell by 3%. United were top of in terms of revenue generation with £172million - the most for any club in the world - but Chelsea, with £144million, narrowed the gap. United's wage bill for the 03/04 season was 76,874,000, down 3% on the season before.
This is will, no doubt, be good news for the Glazer army.
LINK
Meanwhile Glazer has given Fergie ultimatum: win or goodbye
Glazer comment
What an idiot. He is very much trying to act like Abramovich...win or else kinda thing.
Manchester United are still the world's top club when it comes to generating revenue, according to new figures. Deloitte's annual report into football's finances revealed the club are still ahead of Chelsea when it comes to generating money - despite the London side's billionaire backer Roman Abrahmovich. But the London club now dwarf United's spending power when it comes to wages and salaries, after seeing their annual bill rise 110% while United's fell by 3%. United were top of in terms of revenue generation with £172million - the most for any club in the world - but Chelsea, with £144million, narrowed the gap. United's wage bill for the 03/04 season was 76,874,000, down 3% on the season before.
This is will, no doubt, be good news for the Glazer army.
LINK
Meanwhile Glazer has given Fergie ultimatum: win or goodbye
Glazer comment
What an idiot. He is very much trying to act like Abramovich...win or else kinda thing.
newbie original said:
If you can show me where Roman Ab ever said this then I'll accept that comment. Abramovich has always said he is in it for the long haul and instant results never mattered AFAIK
Glazer seems like a typical American businessman - fast buck, big profits. I feel for your club and I hope you have some success dispite this fat muppet of a man.
Caponedawg
Senior Squad
i'm confused. Is that writer confusing Tim's disease? He has tourettes not autism. Or is he trying to make a joke? Albeit not funny.
!!!
jesus christ, this is over the friggin edge right here... SAF been around since the mid 80's, and here comes this fat ass american, saying "Win or leave ferguson"... does he realize the fans are going to (if they havent already started) hate him! he's digging himself a whole thats gonna be impossible to climb out of, and he doesnt seem to care! true, he's in it for the money, but show some respect man! here's a guy that does magic as a manager, and he's gonna get pushed off by a friggin american out for nothing less than money! and whos gonna get appointed? the friggin manager of the best team in the MLS (god help me idk who that is
)???
god help us!!!
i realize it aint a direct quote but SHUT UP!!!!!!!!!!
it makes me want to cry
and who the hell are we gonna be televised by? "FOX Soccer Channell"???
what sponser are we gonna have.. if Glaser is on teh front of those jerseys... haha, that'd be great, no-one would buy em... but still...
and Joel Glazer in the friggin board room??? OMFG!!!!!
"expecting immediate dividends?" well this prooves just bout everything doesnt it
god dammit, this is sad, seriously
jesus christ, this is over the friggin edge right here... SAF been around since the mid 80's, and here comes this fat ass american, saying "Win or leave ferguson"... does he realize the fans are going to (if they havent already started) hate him! he's digging himself a whole thats gonna be impossible to climb out of, and he doesnt seem to care! true, he's in it for the money, but show some respect man! here's a guy that does magic as a manager, and he's gonna get pushed off by a friggin american out for nothing less than money! and whos gonna get appointed? the friggin manager of the best team in the MLS (god help me idk who that is
)??? god help us!!!
i realize it aint a direct quote but SHUT UP!!!!!!!!!!
it makes me want to cry
and who the hell are we gonna be televised by? "FOX Soccer Channell"???
what sponser are we gonna have.. if Glaser is on teh front of those jerseys... haha, that'd be great, no-one would buy em... but still...
and Joel Glazer in the friggin board room??? OMFG!!!!!
"expecting immediate dividends?" well this prooves just bout everything doesnt it
god dammit, this is sad, seriously
United make move for winger
Valencia have dismissed an enquiry from Manchester United for winger Vicente.
The Premiership giants reportedly lodged their interest in the Spain international but their enquiry met with a cool response from Valencia.
Vicente is purported to be Sir Alex Ferguson's latest transfer target after the Scot started his summer recruitment drive with the capture of Dutch goalkeeper Edwin van der Sar.
But Ferguson has been given no encouragement by Valencia, who are determined to retain the services of the wide man.
The 23-year-old has a further two years remaining on his contract and is rated in the £14 million bracket.
The Che have regularly stated they do not wish to sell Vicente and club president Juan Soler confirmed he had rebuffed an enquiry from Old Trafford.
"A director at the English club called me but Vicente is totally untransferable," Soler told The Sun.
Vicente is also aware of the interest from United but acknowledged he has no yearning to quit the Mestalla for The Premiership.
The winger said: "It's pleasing United are interested but I'm happy at Valencia.
"I know that United are interested in me but I didn't speak to anyone.
"The president informed me about this situation.
"But I'm happy to remain at Valencia because I was born here and it's my home."
http://skysports.planetfootball.com...ited+make+move+for+winger&channel=Premiership
Valencia have dismissed an enquiry from Manchester United for winger Vicente.
The Premiership giants reportedly lodged their interest in the Spain international but their enquiry met with a cool response from Valencia.
Vicente is purported to be Sir Alex Ferguson's latest transfer target after the Scot started his summer recruitment drive with the capture of Dutch goalkeeper Edwin van der Sar.
But Ferguson has been given no encouragement by Valencia, who are determined to retain the services of the wide man.
The 23-year-old has a further two years remaining on his contract and is rated in the £14 million bracket.
The Che have regularly stated they do not wish to sell Vicente and club president Juan Soler confirmed he had rebuffed an enquiry from Old Trafford.
"A director at the English club called me but Vicente is totally untransferable," Soler told The Sun.
Vicente is also aware of the interest from United but acknowledged he has no yearning to quit the Mestalla for The Premiership.
The winger said: "It's pleasing United are interested but I'm happy at Valencia.
"I know that United are interested in me but I didn't speak to anyone.
"The president informed me about this situation.
"But I'm happy to remain at Valencia because I was born here and it's my home."
http://skysports.planetfootball.com...ited+make+move+for+winger&channel=Premiership
hmm true - Ronaldo scores more as a "striker" for PT than for ManUtd as a winger...
that for we would need a reliable midfield.
Even if I upset a lot of people here now but Keane/Scholes are mostly - passed their best if you look at the performance - that has absolutly nothing to do with their commitment and ability.
This "system" only works if the the midfield push forward and deliver usefull passes/crosses - that was mostly not the case last season...(not only but aswell because we had to leave a young player with Keane)
4-3-3 becasue a 4-5-1 doesn't work for us
--------------Van der Sar--------------
G.Neville-Ferdinand-Brown/O’Shea-Heinze
---------------------------------------
------Fletcher---Smith---Richarson-----
---------------------------------------
---------Ronaldo---------Rooney-------
----------------Nistelrooy--------------
4-4-2 is and always will be my favourite
--------------Van der Sar--------------
G.Neville-Ferdinand-Brown/O’Shea-Heinze
----------------------------------------
--Ronaldo--Fletcher-Smith--Richardson--
----------------------------------------
---------Nistelrooy------Rooney--------
that for we would need a reliable midfield.
Even if I upset a lot of people here now but Keane/Scholes are mostly - passed their best if you look at the performance - that has absolutly nothing to do with their commitment and ability.
This "system" only works if the the midfield push forward and deliver usefull passes/crosses - that was mostly not the case last season...(not only but aswell because we had to leave a young player with Keane)
4-3-3 becasue a 4-5-1 doesn't work for us
--------------Van der Sar--------------
G.Neville-Ferdinand-Brown/O’Shea-Heinze
---------------------------------------
------Fletcher---Smith---Richarson-----
---------------------------------------
---------Ronaldo---------Rooney-------
----------------Nistelrooy--------------
4-4-2 is and always will be my favourite
--------------Van der Sar--------------
G.Neville-Ferdinand-Brown/O’Shea-Heinze
----------------------------------------
--Ronaldo--Fletcher-Smith--Richardson--
----------------------------------------
---------Nistelrooy------Rooney--------
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