Let's scam the scammer...

[Kibe Kru]

Way to go Tajike! keep us informed about the development of the baiting!

 

[Tom]

Pity he picked me as it'll cost him dearly.

Brilliant.

 

[Tajike]

And thus I replied:

Hello Mrs Abachus,

Thank you for the cute family pictures: they made me all fuzzy inside.

I can understand the involvment of the barrister as we want this contest to evolve as fair as possible (don't want to loose the money to a bunch of cheaters) and shall await his mail with a warm, delightful feeling in my heart.

I truly hope the questions this barrister mails me won't be that difficult, as I said before: God did not provide me with the besterest of brains.

Hope to hear soon from you and your barrister.

Wish me luck and I shall wish you the greetings of the season Spleen!

PS I included a picture of me for you to enjoy and caress

Seppe Sebastiaans

So, I was a bit scared that this was too silly for her liking untill I checked my mailbox today:

Dear Seppe,

I have receive your mail and the content was well
undertsood.
I want you to understand that you are to contact me through
my other email address and not this,
*********@yahoo.com
I shall give you more details and the contact of my family
lawyer as soon as i i hear from you soon.

Thanks,
HajiaMariam.

The game has begun. Time to get my womanizing skills on top-form:

Hello Mrs. Abasta

I received your mail without any problems. I love the way it was lemon scented...

Let me hear from you or the barrister again as soon as possible, please.

Goodbye dearest Mariam,

Seppe Sebastiaans

 

[jatin]

lemon scented...u r on a roll tajike...

 

[Tajike]

@ jatin: That mail just deserved a SpongeBob reference

Ah, Mrs. Abacha is cold as ice, time to warm her up a bit:

Dear Seppe,

This is to acknowledeg the reciept of your mail to me this morning.
This morning i will instruct my son to make the application in your favour to receive the fund into your account.
I will need you to send to me your full contact address and also your telephone number for easy communication.
Thanks.
I am waiting.
Hajia Mariam

.

She's a lady of business, one who knows what to do, one who has contacts in the world of justice, one who just met me and is about to go nuts. For those who love them trivia stuff: try to find the SNL Celebrity Jeopardy reference! Anyone has other ideas for TV and movie references?

Hello Mrs. Abracadabra

All right, just make sure your barrister contacts me as soon as possible with the quiz questions cause I'm having this mental boost which can almost guarantee me the win.

Can you please explain to me what these questions will be about? You know, the different subjects (like "Potent Potables", "Shapes", "What Sound A Doggy Makes" or maybe the fearsome "Potpourri"), this so I know what part of my Ecyclopedia Brittanica to study.

This is my contact info:

Seppe Sebastiaans
*********** 80
3**0 L****
Belgium

My telephone number: +3288 26 96 69 44 (if you can't reach me on this one, than leave a message on this one +3274 ******/this is my back up phone for special services/I consider you very special, Mariam)

Could you please give me your number too, sweetiepie?

I'm waiting too, with a moisty delight, my dearest special Mariam.

Seppe Sebastiaans

The adress is real but actually from our postal office. Someone I know and who works there will keep the mail aside. First phone number is made up, second one is mine. Might want to have a word with her a little bit later. She might be interested in my "special services", you never know...

 

[jatin]

dude..u gave out ur real address and fone number...was dat necessary..
u could have taken this love thing more bfore parting wid the details i guess..anyways..its ur call!

 

[Tajike]

dude..u gave out ur real address and fone number...was dat necessary..
u could have taken this love thing more bfore parting wid the details i guess..anyways..its ur call!

Only my phone number is real, the "home address" isn't (as I said it's the address of our local postal office)

 

[night]

Hello Mrs. Abracadabra

Haha

 

[Tajike]

Update time...:

Mariam decided to reply:

Dear Saul,
It's important you contact my family lawyer that will help facilitate the transfer to you in your home country.
He is Barrister Mike Falana of the Notary Public,so his e-mail is [email protected]
Please do this and get back to me as he will help in this transactions with the neccessary documentations.Please send to me your contact telephone number.
This is important.He will guild you to receive the money.
Thanks.
Mariam.

How dares she to address me with another name!?! Utterly impolite! The nerves!!! This demands a serious slap:

Dear Mrs. Abacardi

Two things that have to get of my heart first:

1. My name is Seppe. You know: S-E-P-P-E, Seppe! Just like your name is Mariam: M-A-R-A-M. I really get annoyed when people write my name wrong. I demand some serious appologies...

2. Secondly: I asked for any hints on what questions your barrister will send me. If I can't prepare myself to this test how do you expect me to perform to the utmost perfectest of myself?!?

So, before I contact Mr. Falafel the Barrister, I want you to appologise and to answer my second question.The quicker you are, the quickerest I shall be...

btw: my phone number was in my last mail... Now, Mariam... Dearest Mariam, what is yours?

Hope to hear from you soon, Mariam

Seppe Sebastiaans

After this it got awefully quiet... Being scared things didn't plan out that great I mailed the barrister 2 days later:

Dear Mr. Falana,

I was asked by Mrs Mariam Abacon to send you this mail. She said you would take care of the questions I have to answer.

Could you please notify Mrs Abacon of my mail and ask her to mail me back asap?

Hope to hear soon from you,

Seppe Sebastiaans

And now, one week later, the game continues:

Attn Seppe Sebastiaans,

From the application received from HAJIA MARIAM ABACHA and her son MUSTAPHA, in the transfer of $14.3MN which was deposited with the security company.

Also i want you to understand that i am in the processing of the document that will be delivered to you that will be bearing your name as the new beneficiary of the consignment & also an open discussion is on with the security company to acknowledge your person as the new beneficiary of the consignment,i will need your full prove that you will be capable of handling this transaction as i know that this is the last hope my client has for a better life in your country.

I was also made to understand that a certain percentage was offered to you for your assistance,and percentage for your expenses, please do everything in your capability to help in transferring this funds as i know that this will benefit every body including you,my client who will be happy forever in your country
You are to revart urgently to this mail to ensure that the aforequoted is taken into consideration, i will await your quick response to my mail so that we can start up immediately.
Call me immediately.

You are to confirm your telephone numbers immediately.

Then the bank will contact you for the payment.

My best regards

BARRISTER MIKE FALANA,

MIKE FALANA, & CO
LEGAL PRACTITIONERS / NOTARY PUBLIC.
TELEPHONE:234-8038642396.

Because these people left me in dispair for over a week I demand a higher percentage of the total sum:

Dear Mr. Falana

What took you so long to answer me? I've been waiting for more than a week and then when I do hear of you I don't even get the questions I need to answer to win the money.

Calling you will be too costly, so forget about that. This is my phone number: +*********. If you can't reach me on that one, try this number instead: +********* and leave a message.

PS. Don't forget that I and Mrs. Abadabeng decided to increase my percentage to 55%. I hope she already mentioned that to you.

Seppe Sebastiaans

Let's see what Mariam and the barrister have to say about that

 

[jatin]

So..waiting for their phone cll i guess..whose number have u given out??
BTW..i just love dem emails and the company names...not even god madeup ones

 

[snakeboy_16]

Does anyone have good tips for me, idea's. cuz' i'm planning to do it to, but i need a plan. I'm gonna play a maffia boss, but does anyone have an idea.

 

[Tajike]

A little quickie to kill some time (other bait is still in progress though the barrister is a lazy bastard and Mariam's mail address is dead)

Dear Friend,

I got your contact in my search for a trustworthy foreigner that will assist me in my present predicament, as I don't even know whom to trust so I allowed the spirit of God to lead me.

Firstly let me introduce my self. I am @13x@ndr0 5@v1mb1, son of the late leader of the National Union of the total Liberation of Angola (U.N.I.T.A) who died on the February 22 2002 by the bullet of the ruling government troop. My late father was controlling the northern part of Angola as a rebel leader which is blessed with a huge deposit of diamonds. This my late father used to his advantage, mining and selling these diamond to foreign individuals and government in return for huge amount of US Dollars and ammunitions that is part of the reasons, coupled with determination why he was able to sustain his troop for 30 years of civil war.

Before his untimely death He left a huge amount of money which amount to $17M ( Seventeen Million United State Dollars) he kept the money under my care in case of eventuality so that the future of me and our family will be secured. But when we heard the bad news of his death, his trusted aid moved me and my younger brother out of our hiding because we were the next family target after his death, we traveled in a fishing boat to and board in Lome, The Republic Of Togo where I am making this contact.

The money has been coded/defaced and secretly deposited in a security company and declared as "FAMILY TREASURE" for onward courier to reliable foreigner in an advanced economy like your country for safe keep.

I am offering you 30% of the total money if you will assist me to move this money out of TOGO as the foreign beneficiary, while I and my family will have 70%. I am assuring you that this transaction is risk free as we have put all the logistics in place to make it successful, all we need from you is your co-operation and sincerity of purpose.

I am recovering from a traumatic attack since the death of my father. I will wait for your response before I can open up the modus operandi of this transaction to you in detail.

Thanks for your understanding,

Yours in Business,

@13x@ndr0 5@v1mb1
TEL: +228 935 28 73

If someone wants to order pizzas at 3AM or has a nice 100% risky free proposal for him, feel free to phone the guy.
Time to introduce to you my second character: Reverend Taj Miyagi of the Church of the Faithful Coitus Interrupti.

Dear Comrade,

I thank you for your mail and write back to say I have fully understood it.

My name is Rev. Taj Miyagi, reverend at the "Church of the Faithful Coitus Interrupti" in Belgium. I must say that I am intrigued by your proposal and am willing to participate (our church is known for its many contributions to the African community). However, there is a slight problem: I cannot take part in cases of financial assistence to people who are no members of our community.

This leaves the choice to you: or our ways part this instant, or you become a member of our great church and I can indulge myself into this business proposal (I can also make sure our church will financially back you up in times of need).

Please reply to me as soon as possible, as we are able to put you on our 'financial help'-list if necessary.

Stay blessed by God,

Rev. Taj Miyagi
Church of the Faithful Coitus Interrupti
www.coitusinterrupti.tk

Dear Rev. Taj Miyagi,

Thanks for your message which I hace carefully read with good understanding.

I want you to know that there will be no problem for me to join your community. If you can accept me in your community. I hope that you will help me in prayer and everything because I think that I need that.

So, upon your confirmation to me by helping me, I shall send you an Application Form which you will fill and send to the company by applying for the release of the trunk box to you on my behalf.

I am waiting to hear from you soonest.

Thanks and remain blessed.

@13x@ndr0 5@v1mb1
TEL: +228 935 28 73

Dear Comrade,

It does me great pleasure that you have decided to join the "Church of the Faithful Coitus Interrupti". Before we start your initiation, let me tell you more about our church. Afterwards I need confirmation so that we can start. Do not worry, Comrade Savimbi, this will take not much time.

Our church was founded in 1969 in Russia by Comrade Proudski. This Comrade was disgusted with the way the Western world was dealing with the African people and culture. Therfore he started the "Church of the Faithful Coitus Interrupti", a church community which grew all over Europe and America, helping our poor African brothers.
Like Christians, we still devote our lives to God. The only difference with Christianity is that we do not call His son Jezus, but I-Owe U (pronunciation: ie-o:we eo), the name given to God's son by a small African tribe. We have also based our religion on the foundations of Communism, meaning that the church provides for its people, everyone gets an even share of our income, we call each other "Comrade" and we grow a moustache (this because of our founder, Comrade Proudski)
I myself am Rev. Taj Miyagi, reverend of this church in Belgium. I've been a member since 1985 and became reverend in 1999 after long and hard studies.
I have included a photo of Comrade Proudski and myself. Please print out Comrade Proudski's photo and frame it.

Now, we need you to confirm your willingness to join the "Church of the Faithful Coitus Interrupti". This needs to be done by replying to me with the following text:

I, @13x@ndr0 5@v1mb1, hereby confirm that I am willing to join the "Church of the Faithful Coitus Interrupti" and devote my life to God, I-Owe U and the African people.

Copy this text into your reply and I shall send you the initiation forms which you need to fill out (again, this will not ask much of your time).

I hope to hear very soon from you.

Stay blessed by God,

Rev. Taj Miyagi
Church of the Faithful Coitus Interrupti
www.coitusinterrupti.tk

Pics I added:
http://img400.imageshack.us/img400/4269/proudski3cf.jpg (explenation: The "Trots" part of Trotsky means "proud" in Dutch)
http://img400.imageshack.us/img400/7320/me8pv.jpg

They bite and you reel them in:

Dear Rev. Taj Miyagi,

I, @13x@ndr0 5@v1mb1, hereby confirm that I am willing to join the "Church of the Faithful Coitus Interrupti" and devote my life to God, I-Owe U and the African people.

@13x@ndr0 5@v1mb1.
TEL: 00228 935 28 73

Dear Comrade,

Thank you so kindly. It makes my heart shine bright when someone new enters our community with such great devotion.

Attached are the forms you need to fill out to enter the "Church of the Faithful Coitus Interrupti". Print these out, fill them in and scan them back in. Afterwards just mail them back to me completely filled out. Be sure to preserve a copy of your own.

It'll be impossible to reach me today and tomorrow, as I'll be celebrating Easter with my family and with my church members.

Hope to hear soon from you, Comrade 5@v1mb1.

Happy Easter!

Stay blessed by God,

Rev. Taj Miyagi
Church of the Faithful Coitus Interrupti
www.coitusinterrupti.tk

The 15-page epic application form can be found here: http://www.yourfilehost.com/media.php?cat=other&file=Application_Form.doc (please do not use without my knowledge)

Seems those 15 pages were a bitch for Mr. 5@v1mb1 (plus he's a cheat. And a big one at it):

Rev. Taj Miyagi

Please, help me fill the form by yourself and subscribe on my behalf because it's too much for me ok.

Thanks.

@13x@ndr0

Dear Comrade,

I appreciate the fact that you came to ask for my help. This again shows what devotion you have to join our church.

Fact is that the church rules clearly state that YOU have to fill in the form, Comrade 5@v1mb1, as most of these questions are of a personal nature. You get as long as you want to fill it out (no time limit). Else, if you do not fill it out yourself, the church will reject your application and this will result in the end of our business, Comrade 5@v1mb1.

If I was to fill this form out myself it would also have great consequences for me and you, as our community does not take forgery lightly. And we do want to prevent my position from being taken away from me and your image being ruined, don't we?

Please fill out the form (take all the time you need) so that we can start our business as soon as possible.

Please, would you mind not disturbing me for the rest of the day as I'm preparing the Easter celebrations with my family. The mass for our community was a great success and I thank God and I-Owe U for this. This must mean they'll give you the strength to continue your induction too.

Happy Easter, dear Comrade.

Stay blessed by God,

Rev. Taj Miyagi
Church of the Faithful Coitus Interrupti
www.coitusinterrupti.tk

Kept myself quiet for a day or three before I mailed him again:

Dear Comrade,

How are you, Comrade 5@v1mb1? Hope you enjoyed your Easter celebrations.

Could you please keep me informed on how things are going with your application form? My community elders were wondering if you are still interested in joining the church.

Hope to hear soon from you.

Stay blessed by God,

Rev. Taj Miyagi
Church of the Faithful Coitus Interrupti
www.coitusinterrupti.tk

Oh oh, disaster struck at the 5@v1mb1 family:

Rev. Taj Miyagi,

Thanks for your mail.

I am interested to join your church after I have gone through your application form. But I have some problem down here that is why I have not fill the application till now. I do not have house anymore because I can not pay the house, my computer is spoilt.

Everything is about 980 Dollars down here and I have to settle down before I can do anything.

I am just asking myself if you could help me out of this and I could have the means to join your church and take care of everything. Please.

I am waiting for your response.

thanks.

@13x@ndr0 5@v1mb1
TEL: 00228 935 28 73

Strangely enough this reply came half an hour after my mail. A bit odd when you lost your house and your PC is "spoilt". The reverend knows no mercy:

Dear Comrade,

Your story brought tears to my eyes as I feel so helpless at the moment. Even though I want to help you out on this situation, I can't unless you are an official member of the church.

Try to ask a friend with a computer to help you out (God will reward both you and your friend for this gesture) and the first thing we shall do when you applied for our community is to get yourself a nice house to live in for the rest of your precious life, Comrade 5@v1mb1.
Again take your time, though keep me informed of your progress.

PS. I hate it too when computers act like that: give them all the care in the world and they act like damn (forgive my language) spoiled brats.

Hope to hear soon from you.

Stay blessed by God,

Rev. Taj Miyagi
Church of the Faithful Coitus Interrupti
www.coitusinterrupti.tk

If this turns out to be a nice bait or if you guys are interested in the future tattooing of Mr. 5@v1mb1, I'll keep you updated on this one as well.

 

[RobbieD_PL]

!!!!

Thats the best smiley to describe your App form Tajike

 

[King]

Just question him, How come ur name is muslim and u r the Rev of the church!? Did u convert or is one of ur family members a Christian?

 

[Tajike]

Just question him, How come ur name is muslim and u r the Rev of the church!? Did u convert or is one of ur family members a Christian?

God works in mysterious ways, King

 

[ShiftyPowers]

Tajike, be as mean as you can possibly be. How in the ******* world is he going to use illegal blood diamond money made from a decade of violent attrocities against the Angolan people to entice someone? He paints Jonas Savimbi in such a favorable light, but the truth was that Savimbi broke numerous peace agreements so he could continue his raping of the Angolan people for diamond wealth. A nation as wealthy in oil and diamonds as Angola should not be as poor as it is. If you can fit any of that in to the baiting, that would be great, just because he's such a douchebag. And Togo is like the worst, most lawless country on earth.

 

[RobbieD_PL]

and let's not forget that they both qualified for the WC too
EDIT: Savimbi is the guy's name? dang L33T code

 

[King]

God works in mysterious ways, King

Sure does!

 

[Tajike]

Tajike, be as mean as you can possibly be. How in the ******* world is he going to use illegal blood diamond money made from a decade of violent attrocities against the Angolan people to entice someone? He paints Jonas Savimbi in such a favorable light, but the truth was that Savimbi broke numerous peace agreements so he could continue his raping of the Angolan people for diamond wealth. A nation as wealthy in oil and diamonds as Angola should not be as poor as it is. If you can fit any of that in to the baiting, that would be great, just because he's such a douchebag. And Togo is like the worst, most lawless country on earth.

Whatever Shifty wants, Shifty shall receive; though only at the end of the bait as I don't want to frighten the lad too soon.
This also solves the problem of where I heard that name before. It's general knowledge that these scammers just take the very first name out of a newspaper that sounds remotely "important". Might want to tackle him on that one later on.

@Robbie: I used the leet on his name out of protection. Depending on the intelligence of a lad I pick the leet or non-leet verion of his name to post here. So I'd appreciate if you guys would use the leet too on his name.

 

[theo]

Haha just received two scamming letters like the ones you got.
I'll just ignore them though .