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Unfunny
- Thread starter Haukur Gudnason
- Start date
J
:: JJ ::
Guest
You stole my joke!!!
italianstyle87
Starting XI
why did the pervert cross the road?
coz his dick was stuck in the chicken
coz his dick was stuck in the chicken
J
:: JJ ::
Guest
And ya stole my FOCT prototype you thieving Oirish navvy!!!Originally posted by PhiLLer
Feck off, taffy. I stole nothing
italianstyle87
Starting XI
elephant jokes
How can you tell if an elephant's been in your bed?
'Cos it'll be full of peanut shells.
How do you get four elephants in a little red mini?
Two in the front, two in the back.
How can you tell if an elephants been in the fridge?
There's a set of footprints in the butter.
How can you tell two elephants have been in the fridge?
There's two sets of footprints in the butter.
How can you tell three elephants have been in the fridge?
There's three sets of footprints in the butter.
How can you tell four elephants have been in the fridge?
There's a little red mini parked in the kitchen.
What do you do if an elephant sits on your hanky?
Wait for it to get up.
Why do elephants paint their feet yellow?
So they can hide upside down in a bowl of custard...
You've never found an elephant in your custard have you?
No? Works then, doesn't it.
Why is an elephant large, grey, hairy and wrinkley?
'Cos if they were small, white, hairless and smooth, it'd be an asprin.
How do you stop an elephant going through the eye of a needle?
Tie a knot in it's tail.
Why do elephants wear sandals?
To stop their feet sinking in the sand.
Why do ostriches bury their heads in the sand?
To see all the elephants who aren't wearing sandals.
What did the grape say when an elephant stepped on it?
Nothing, it just gave a little w[h]ine
How do you shoot a blue elephant?
With a blue elephant gun!
How do you shoot a red elephant?
Strangle him until he turns blue and shoot him with a blue elephant gun!
How do you shoot a green elephant?
Tell him dirty jokes until he turns red, then strangle him till he turns blue and then shoot him with a blue elephant gun!
How do you shoot a yellow elephant?
Have you ever SEEN a yellow elephant?
What is the difference between a grape and an elephant?
A grape is purple.
Why don't elephants drink martinis?
Have you ever tried to get an olive out of your nose?
How do you run over an elephant?
Climb up it's tail, dash to it's head and slide down its trunk.
How do you get down off an elephant?
You don't. You get down off a duck.
How do elephants get up into oak trees?
They sit on an acorn and wait.
How do elephants get down from oak trees?
They sit on an acorn and wait.
Why do elephants have flat feet?
From jumping out of oak trees - they're impatient!
Why don't elephants ride bicycles?
They don't have thumbs to ring the bell.
How do you make an elephant float?
Take two scoops of ice-cream, coca cola and one elephant.
How do you get an elephant into a matchbox?
Take the matches out!
How do you get an elephant into a telephone booth?
Open the door.
Why can't two elephants go swimming?
They only have one pair of trunks between them.
How do you fit an elephant into a fridge?
Open door, put elephant in, close door!
How do you get a giraffe into the fridge?
Open door, remove elephant, put giraffe in, close door!
Why do ducks have flat feet?
To stamp out forest fires.
Why do elephants have flat feet?
To stamp out burning ducks!!
Why do giraffes have long necks?
To spit on burning elephants!!
What is the difference between a plum and an elephant?
They're both purple, except for the elephant.
How do you stop a herd of elephants from charging?
Take away their credit-cards.
Why do elephants wear sneakers?
To soften their landing when they jump out of oak trees.
Why is it dangerous to get in the jungle between two and four o'clock?
That's when the elephants jumps out of the oak trees.
Why are the pygmies so small?
They went in the jungle between two and four o'clock!
Why is there a nine o'clock curfew in the jungle?
So the elephants can practise jumping out of the oak trees.
Why do crocodiles have flat noses?
They didn't stick to the curfew.
How can you tell if an elephant's been in your bed?
'Cos it'll be full of peanut shells.
How do you get four elephants in a little red mini?
Two in the front, two in the back.
How can you tell if an elephants been in the fridge?
There's a set of footprints in the butter.
How can you tell two elephants have been in the fridge?
There's two sets of footprints in the butter.
How can you tell three elephants have been in the fridge?
There's three sets of footprints in the butter.
How can you tell four elephants have been in the fridge?
There's a little red mini parked in the kitchen.
What do you do if an elephant sits on your hanky?
Wait for it to get up.
Why do elephants paint their feet yellow?
So they can hide upside down in a bowl of custard...
You've never found an elephant in your custard have you?
No? Works then, doesn't it.
Why is an elephant large, grey, hairy and wrinkley?
'Cos if they were small, white, hairless and smooth, it'd be an asprin.
How do you stop an elephant going through the eye of a needle?
Tie a knot in it's tail.
Why do elephants wear sandals?
To stop their feet sinking in the sand.
Why do ostriches bury their heads in the sand?
To see all the elephants who aren't wearing sandals.
What did the grape say when an elephant stepped on it?
Nothing, it just gave a little w[h]ine
How do you shoot a blue elephant?
With a blue elephant gun!
How do you shoot a red elephant?
Strangle him until he turns blue and shoot him with a blue elephant gun!
How do you shoot a green elephant?
Tell him dirty jokes until he turns red, then strangle him till he turns blue and then shoot him with a blue elephant gun!
How do you shoot a yellow elephant?
Have you ever SEEN a yellow elephant?
What is the difference between a grape and an elephant?
A grape is purple.
Why don't elephants drink martinis?
Have you ever tried to get an olive out of your nose?
How do you run over an elephant?
Climb up it's tail, dash to it's head and slide down its trunk.
How do you get down off an elephant?
You don't. You get down off a duck.
How do elephants get up into oak trees?
They sit on an acorn and wait.
How do elephants get down from oak trees?
They sit on an acorn and wait.
Why do elephants have flat feet?
From jumping out of oak trees - they're impatient!
Why don't elephants ride bicycles?
They don't have thumbs to ring the bell.
How do you make an elephant float?
Take two scoops of ice-cream, coca cola and one elephant.
How do you get an elephant into a matchbox?
Take the matches out!
How do you get an elephant into a telephone booth?
Open the door.
Why can't two elephants go swimming?
They only have one pair of trunks between them.
How do you fit an elephant into a fridge?
Open door, put elephant in, close door!
How do you get a giraffe into the fridge?
Open door, remove elephant, put giraffe in, close door!
Why do ducks have flat feet?
To stamp out forest fires.
Why do elephants have flat feet?
To stamp out burning ducks!!
Why do giraffes have long necks?
To spit on burning elephants!!
What is the difference between a plum and an elephant?
They're both purple, except for the elephant.
How do you stop a herd of elephants from charging?
Take away their credit-cards.
Why do elephants wear sneakers?
To soften their landing when they jump out of oak trees.
Why is it dangerous to get in the jungle between two and four o'clock?
That's when the elephants jumps out of the oak trees.
Why are the pygmies so small?
They went in the jungle between two and four o'clock!
Why is there a nine o'clock curfew in the jungle?
So the elephants can practise jumping out of the oak trees.
Why do crocodiles have flat noses?
They didn't stick to the curfew.
nickclubman
Starting XI
Originally posted by Champions!!!
For some reason I actually laughed
-What did the farmer say when he lost his chickens?
where are my chickens?
ROFL! I'm annoyed with myself, I actually found that hilarious!!!
NK.
mhflierman
Starting XI
This thread is so bad it's actually ace.
someone had waaaay too much time on their hands, i wonder who?
**Ahem**italianstyle**ahem** cough cough
why is the earth round?
Because if it were flat it would be a pancake.
Why is david beckham a homo
Because he is a man (homo "sapian") ***
*** david beckham really is gay
**Ahem**italianstyle**ahem** cough cough
why is the earth round?
Because if it were flat it would be a pancake.
Why is david beckham a homo
Because he is a man (homo "sapian") ***
*** david beckham really is gay
I
IceBlu
Guest
Originally posted by ishan1990
Why is david beckham a homo
Because he is a man (homo "sapian") ***
*** david beckham really is gay
You killed this thread. Good job.
italianstyle87
Starting XI
copied the whole thing from an email i had, took me all of 15seconds
WrightLegend
Club Supporter
Funny funny funny jokes 
