pooing on foreign territory (sponsered by fc infesta)

[PhiLLer]

I've never been a fan of taking a dump anywhere but my own house. But when nature called one day at work I had to choice. So I went and took a dump and of course as luck would have it, it wouldn't flush through (not my fault, the pipes are just way too small!). So I tried everything, no luck.
So I tried flushing a few more times but it only made it worse, now the water wasn't draining away and it was up to the brim with murkey crap water.
In a moment of pure genius, I waited until everybody left the toilet area and switched to another cubicle. Then waited for someone to come in and at that moment I came out of my cubicle and told the other guy "don't go into that cubicle, somebody messed things up".

Also, when taking a crap at someone elses house there always needs to be a bufferzone. If the door to the toilet leads to a hall way or something, that's fine but if the door leads directly to the living room or a space where there is a lot of people activity it's a big NO.

 

[NASTY PASTY]

St. Johnstone!

I'd rather have a sh*t in my own house thank you :boohoo:

 

[AberdeenFC]

yes phil! a pure genuis moment!!

haha what about when your in a public toilet...and its just u and someone else.... they are in the bog next to urs.... and the place is silent!!

and u just have to wait for the first person to shít!!

come on we've all been there!!!

 

[::shinji::]

In a moment of pure genius, I waited until everybody left the toilet area and switched to another cubicle. Then waited for someone to come in and at that moment I came out of my cubicle and told the other guy "don't go into that cubicle, somebody messed things up".

Nice stealth move man, you're just like the kid in the movie "Witness"!

 

[Rocky]

Haha this is the greatest thread ever I'm with Gavin on this, I'm not nervous when pooing in foreign territory.

 

[Andrejs]

Once, at a train station in Moscow, I had to have a ****,they had one of these there. It costed ridiciously much and since I had no cash...I had to do it behind the box, I almost got caught by some militia guy but atleast I got it done.

 

[Bobby]

hahah imagine a militia man catching you taking a crap

 

[ShiftyPowers]

I don't mind taking a crap in public restrooms, but the only things that suck are A) if it's at like some ghetto Wendy's and it smells like 8 people just shat on the floor before you walked in or someone is next to you. I usually just sit there, trying to hold my crap in and wait them out so as not to make any noise; or just try to crap REALLY quiet.

But I ALWAYS use the toilet seat covers and if they don't have them I make one with toilet paper. There's no way I'm getting syphilis or the clap from a toilet seat.

 

[shokz]

I only like pooing on my own toilet, even if some peoples toilets may be ten times cleaner with alot less rust down the bog compared to mine, i just cannot bring myself to cheat on my own toilet with someone elses.

I also do not find it comfortable sitting on another person's toilet, you just can't help but think 'who elses bare arse may of been sitting here before me?', it gives the feeling that you just need to go back to your own place, jump in the shower, and wash off those germs (or lurgies as we said in primary school). I will never step foot in a public toilet, I don't want someone elses germs.

Oh for the love of god Shifty, you got lurgies, just don't touch me.

 

[Payukgcn]

Yeh, when people walk in in public bathrooms whilst im taking one, ill waite till they leave so they don't hear the sounds of me taking a bumper

LOL me too , this thread promise to be legendary LOL

 

[Gerrard 17]

I have NEVER taken a crap anywhere other than my own house. Not even when I was a kid I think.

Unless I was travelling and I was staying at the place for more than 2 days. I dunno, it's just too weird.

 

[Virgo]

A friend of mine that went to a summer festival one of these years took some stuff to hold the crap inside him longer, because he can't stand those place's bathrooms.
The problem is that the festival was 5 days longer and by the 3rd day he was already so full of it that according to him, he had to hold is arse closed or the crap would literally crawl out.
By the 4th day he couldn't hold it any further and went to a nearby town where there were lines to take a crap at the local bars and other establishments.
He then as a final act of desperation offered some old woman, that was by her house's window 50€ to take a dump in her house. She thought he was making fun of her and told him to f*ck off. !
I think he eventually went to the woods and did it behind some bush.

 

[shokz]

I think he eventually went to the woods and did it behind some bush.

He must've felt absolutely delighted after that, I know I would. It's a good feeling when you've just done the biggest most satisfactory plop ever. The only negative thing about it is, sometimes it takes your body heat with it, thus turning it into a big steamy plop, and you'll also feel a few chills down the spine later on.

 

[Payukgcn]

too much information...

 

[AberdeenFC]

But I ALWAYS use the toilet seat covers and if they don't have them I make one with toilet paper.

haha, those things are legendary! you dont get them in britain though

so i too am forced to do a finch and create one myself!

 

[henry#14]

haha legendary thread!! I hate taking a dump on foreign territory, even at a good friend's place. Funnily enough though I never have to go when I'm at school or wherever because I make sure to take a huge one before I go out. Like last night, I must've had 3 pizzas at this party as well as numerous drinks but all I did was piss a whole lot. You'll never believe what happened a few months ago though. I'm sitting at home on Sunday watching football on TV, when I hear this loud f*cking knock on the door. I run over thinking it's like the cops or something and I open the door to see this huge black guy there. So after the greeting formalities, he's like "Hi man. Do you have a toilet?" so I'm thinking "what the hell?" but I say yeah. All this time this guy's hopping on the spot, and he's like "can I use it?", obviously I'm thinking he's taking the piss but when I ask him what he said he's like "Seriously man, I need to take a dump. Come on." Now this guy's f*cking huge and I'm naturally thinking he's gonna clog it up. So I said no and closed the door on him and see him running off next door. Weirdest thing ever.

 

[::shinji::]

too much information...

c'mon man, we're sharing here....don't be a party pooper! (no pun intended)

 

[Ubik Valis]

You'll never believe what happened a few months ago though. I'm sitting at home on Sunday watching football on TV, when I hear this loud f*cking knock on the door. I run over thinking it's like the cops or something and I open the door to see this huge black guy there. So after the greeting formalities, he's like "Hi man. Do you have a toilet?" so I'm thinking "what the hell?" but I say yeah. All this time this guy's hopping on the spot, and he's like "can I use it?", obviously I'm thinking he's taking the piss but when I ask him what he said he's like "Seriously man, I need to take a dump. Come on." Now this guy's f*cking huge and I'm naturally thinking he's gonna clog it up. So I said no and closed the door on him and see him running off next door. Weirdest thing ever.

You didn't even help a brotha out


Sellout

 

[AberdeenFC]

if a massive black guy asked to shít in my toilet ide be so proud. ide request him not to flush it

 

[Daz]

if a massive black guy asked to shít in my toilet ide be so proud. ide request him not to flush it

haha

if you didn't know what the rest of the thread was about, that could sound completely fuc'ked up.

*in sig it goes*