pooing on foreign territory (sponsered by fc infesta)

[henry#14]

Lol, my bad.

 

[AlienSeafood]

i only take dumps at my home...or at the office...since its really clean n nice...but only if i have too...i dont think i have ever done it at a friends place or malls or other public places though...and if i ever had...probably once or twice only...its because i really really had to go...

 

[RUSI]

I was in a hotel in Myrtle Beach, South Carolina on Monday and Tuesday and I had some of those chili dogs from Dairy Queen, little did I know what a mistake I had made letting that through my back-4. I thought the goalkeeper would be able to paw it over for a corner at the very least, but man, was I wrong.

It was like 11PM, I had just stepped back into the room. Then I felt the feared rumble. I turned on my heel and headed for the toilet straight away. It was one of the craps where the second you hit the seat it rushes out like a caged bull who smells a cow in heat. It hit the water with a splash comparable to a poor sap who did the mafia wrong being dropped out of a helicopter into Lake Huron.

After around 12 minutes of crapping I stood up, unfolding my lanky frame from the porciline hellhole I had just relived myself in, I looked down and noticed that the poo had a green tent, confirming what I already knew, Dairy Queen serves awful food. Not only was the apperence a terrible sight, but the smell was vile. I thought to myself surley something that bad was banned by the Geneva Convention.

I ended up leaving the hotel room for nearly a half hour.

HAHA, brilliant post

" It was one of the craps where the second you hit the seat it rushes out like a caged bull who smells a cow in heat.

It hit the water with a splash comparable to a poor sap who did the mafia wrong being dropped out of a helicopter into Lake Huron."

Those are two of the worst feelings known to mankind

Also, anything apart from the Ice Cream at DQ is the equivilent of Dog Sh*t

 

[Voltaic Borusse]

Also, anything apart from the Ice Cream at DQ is the equivilent of Dog Sh*t

Correction: Overpriced dog****.

 

[$teauA]

I like going to the nicest, yet least active bathroom on like far away floors or building in school. I like bigger bathrooms too with 3 or more stalls, plus I alway go in the handicap stall.

I always picture finishing up and then walking out of the stall only to see a guy in a wheelchair sitting there waiting. He can obviously see that you are not handicapped. That would make me sad but it would be funny in a saddistic way.

 

[ShiftyPowers]

I always picture finishing up and then walking out of the stall only to see a guy in a wheelchair sitting there waiting. He can obviously see that you are not handicapped. That would make me sad but it would be funny in a saddistic way.

Larry David actually does that in an episode of Curb Your Enthusiasm. The handicapped guy bitches him out

 

[AberdeenFC]

i had to take a shít at the oxegen music festival in ireland. all the toilets were covered in shít, one even had a crap on the floor of the toilet. it wasnt very pleasant at all. my least favourite foreign territory crap of all time.

 

[1966+2006]

the worst public toiltes are in france.....theres just a hole and some bars to hang on to...
so you're almost standing and crapping in a hole...that was my worst experience anyway..

 

[Tom]

the best thread in SG's history?

quite possibly.

 

[Joe]

Since I tend to drink this summer despite having to work nine hours days starting at 8 am I've learned the art of ****ting in a somewhat public place. I hover. Good for the ass and thighs no doubt.

However, beer ****s in a public place, especially work, do kind of suck monkey tits.

I often wonder if someone comes in if its my boss and he recognizes my shoes underneath the stall. Somehow I find that embarassing.

Another time I was going to wait some dude out, who came in as I was popping a squat. Well, the urinal is right next to the stall so I could see his feet. Literally, he stood there for around ten minutes NOT doing a thing. I heard no tinkling or anything of that sort. So eventually I gave up and said I'll **** later and walked out.

Great thread.

 

[Tom]

Den's post on page 5

I have to say, since this thread's conception i've become far more 'at ease' when pooing on foreign territory. Obviously id never (ever) poo in the dubiously clean toilets in Rotherham town centre still, but university toilets are now very homely to me.

Mind you, i still find it weird pooing in my new house in Sheff, havent quite broken it in yet i dont feel.

 

[CarlosDanger]

Ha ha...it's back!

I have officially caused a new bathroom to be opened in my office....
I work in an office with all women, and we have a bathroom that opens up into the main office area, so when the urge hits, you can imagine the walk of shame, but hey, when you gotta go...you gotta go.

So after several weeks, the General Manager decides that's enough, and makes the office can just for women, and sends me into the adjacent office, which is used by the construction coordinator (I work in a Condominium office) and has no lights installed. So now I have to dump in the dark.....luckily my cell phone has a little flashlight, otherwise, how would I know when to stop wiping?!?
But there's something about crapping in the dark.......

 

[Joe]

Haha, Dump in the Dark.

That needs to be the title of something.

 

[Callum]

Another time I was going to wait some dude out, who came in as I was popping a squat. Well, the urinal is right next to the stall so I could see his feet. Literally, he stood there for around ten minutes NOT doing a thing. I heard no tinkling or anything of that sort. So eventually I gave up and said I'll **** later and walked out.

Great thread.

I know the feeling, I went in and was about to dump, but this guy came in and stood at the urinal for, it seemed like forever, and it was the bathroom where its just 1 urinal and 1 stall, so I was sitting there waiting forever and I didnt hear anything, no tinkles or anything, then he finally did, but the bastard stood at the sink forever, it pissed me off, and hurt my ass.

Am I the only one who likes pooing in a small stall rather than a bigger one, cause it makes you more comfortable?

 

[CarlosDanger]

Am I the only one who likes pooing in a small stall rather than a bigger one, cause it makes you more comfortable?

I agree....you can lean on the wall if you get tired or are hung over....

 

[Bobby]

i had to take a shít at the oxegen music festival in ireland. all the toilets were covered in shít, one even had a crap on the floor of the toilet. it wasnt very pleasant at all. my least favourite foreign territory crap of all time.

Sometimes the away grounds are old, and untreated. That's the real test of your football, not these swanky, new, well kept resturants.

 

[Tom]

Sometimes the away grounds are old, and untreated. That's the real test of your football, not these swanky, new, well kept resturants.

Millmoor.

 

[Ubik Valis]

Haha, Dump in the Dark.

German porno, starring Vince and Den.

 

[AlienSeafood]

w/ special guest...David "The Hoff" Hasslehoff

 

[Hans]

http://www.****tystories.com/

If the link doesn't work change the asterisks ( I hate cencorship ) into the word "sh*t" only substitute the "*" with an "i"....