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I need help with soccer essay...

S

soccer_beanie

Guest
I don't know if this is where I am supposed to post this, if not, then move please, and Thanks!

I need to know who created soccer, the game, and around what year. Does anybody here know?
I need to know by tomorrow if you could, so I can research and all... Thanks
 
S

Sir Calumn

Guest
Soccer was invented in 1891 by German physicist Heinrick Soccerhelm as a method for particle destabilisation - the idea being that volatile substances could be placed in the ball, or hexosphere as is was then called, and kicked around to cause random disturbance of the molecules. However, in order to keep his orderlies entertained while conducting this process, he divised a set of rules so that it could be turned into a game. Unfortunately, because so little was known about radioactivity at the time, proper safety precautions were not taken and the men involved suffered such severe radiation poisoning that their legs had to be amputated, ironically meaning that the first ever soccer players were very illsuited for the game. Soccerhelm was destraut at the devastating effect of his actions and desperately wanted some good to come out of his experiments, so he spread word about the game in the hope that it would catch on. The original rules were very different to the modern game, with up to thirty players allowed on each team, no restriction on the amount of physical contact or duration of the match - some matches lasted several days! - and the pitches being circular and hard, to correspond with the floor space of Soccerhelm's original laboratory. The game evolved across time but much remains faithful to Soccerhelm's original model, such as the idea of team mascots, which originally were creatures from Soccerhelm's other experiments, or the idea of sponsorship, as Soccerhelm's original experiments were done on behalf of Player's Cigarettes and were actually intented to find more potent cigarette ingredients!

I hope this helps :)
 
B

ballack1111

Club Supporter
dude football/soccer was inveted WAYYYY BEFORE 1891 because Everton FC/Liverpool/Bolton Wanderers has been around since like 1835
 
B

Bobby

The Legend
Sir Sir_Didier_Drogba said:
Soccer was invented in 1891 by German physicist Heinrick Soccerhelm as a method for particle destabilisation - the idea being that volatile substances could be placed in the ball, or hexosphere as is was then called, and kicked around to cause random disturbance of the molecules. However, in order to keep his orderlies entertained while conducting this process, he divised a set of rules so that it could be turned into a game. Unfortunately, because so little was known about radioactivity at the time, proper safety precautions were not taken and the men involved suffered such severe radiation poisoning that their legs had to be amputated, ironically meaning that the first ever soccer players were very illsuited for the game. Soccerhelm was destraut at the devastating effect of his actions and desperately wanted some good to come out of his experiments, so he spread word about the game in the hope that it would catch on. The original rules were very different to the modern game, with up to thirty players allowed on each team, no restriction on the amount of physical contact or duration of the match - some matches lasted several days! - and the pitches being circular and hard, to correspond with the floor space of Soccerhelm's original laboratory. The game evolved across time but much remains faithful to Soccerhelm's original model, such as the idea of team mascots, which originally were creatures from Soccerhelm's other experiments, or the idea of sponsorship, as Soccerhelm's original experiments were done on behalf of Player's Cigarettes and were actually intented to find more potent cigarette ingredients!

I hope this helps :)
Click to expand...

To add to this you should also know that Richard Nixon played for Zenit St. Petersberg. He was some player.

http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=-1726192159254535770&q=goal+Beşiktaş

Nixon in 1959 v CSKA.

The best soccer teams play each other in the Holy League. God himself serves as head referee for matches in this league. It's well known that he supports Queen of the South, therefore Jesus is in charge of matches involving Queen of the South.

edit: how did i miss this thread?

Dragan, you Danish twat, you're supposed to tell me these things.
 
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