American tourist’s observations about the UK go viral

[Alex]

I found this hilarious, just because it reminded me of how so many Americans are so sheltered to anything outside of their own country.

http://www.news.com.au/travel/world-travel/american-tourists-observations-about-the-uk-go-viral/story-e6frfqbr-1227560143070

Basically, it's a list by an American who visited the UK and his list of "differences".

I was in England again a few weeks ago, mostly in small towns, but here's some of what I noticed:
* Almost everyone is very polite
* The food is generally outstanding
* There are no guns
* There are too many narrow stairs
* Everything is just a little bit different
* The pubs close too early
* The reason they drive on the left is because all their cars are built backwards
* Pubs are not bars, they are community living rooms.
* You'd better like peas, potatoes and sausage
* Refrigerators and washing machines are very small
* Everything is generally older, smaller and shorter
* People don't seem to be afraid of their neighbors or the government
* Their paper money makes sense, the coins don't
* Everyone has a washing machine but driers are rare
* Hot and cold water faucets. Remember them?
* Pants are called "trousers", underwear are "pants" and sweaters are "jumpers"
* The bathroom light is a string hanging from the ceiling
* "Fanny" is a naughty word, as is "shag"
* All the signs are well designed with beautiful typography and written in full sentences with proper grammar.
* There's no dress code
* Doors close by themselves, but they don't always open
* They eat with their forks upside down
* The English are as crazy about their gardens as Americans are about cars
* They don't seem to use facecloths or napkins or maybe they’re just less messy than we are
* The wall outlets all have switches, some don't do anything
* There are hardly any cops or police cars
* 5,000 year ago, someone arranged a lot of rocks all over, but no one is sure why
* When you do see police they seem to be in male & female pairs and often smiling
* Black people are just people: they didn't quite do slavery here
* Everything comes with chips, which are French Fries. You put vinegar on them
* Cookies are "biscuits" and potato chips are "crisps"
* HP sauce is better then catsup
* Obama is considered a hero, Bush is considered an idiot.
* After fish and chips, curry is the most popular food
* The water controls in showers need detailed instructions
* They can boil anything
* Folks don't always lock their bikes
* It's not unusual to see people dressed different and speaking different languages
* Your electronic devices will work fine with just a plug adapter
* Nearly everyone is better educated then we are
* If someone buys you a drink you must do the same
* There are no guns
* Look right, walk left. Again; look right, walk left. You're welcome.
* Avoid British wine and French beer
* It's not that hard to eat with the fork in your left hand with a little practice. If you don't, everyone knows you're an American
* Many of the roads are the size of our sidewalks
* There's no AC
* Instead of turning the heat up, you put on a jumper
* Gas is "petrol", it costs about $6 a gallon and is sold by the liter
* If you speed on a motorway, you get a ticket. Period. Always
* You don't have to tip, really!
* Scotland, Wales, Ireland and Cornwall really are different countries
* Only 14% of Americans have a passport, almost everyone in the UK does
* You pay the price marked on products because the taxes (VAT) are built in
* Walking is the national pastime
* Their TV looks and sounds much better then ours
* They took the street signs down during WWII, but haven't put them all back up yet
* Everyone enjoys a good joke
* There are no guns
* Dogs are very well behaved and welcome everywhere
* There are no window screens
* You can get on a bus and end up in Paris
* Everyone knows more about our history then we do
* Radio is still a big deal. The BBC is quite good
* The newspapers can be awful
* Everything costs the same but our money is worth less so you have to add 50% to the price to figure what you're paying
* Beer comes in large, completely filled, actual pint glasses and the closer the brewery the better the beer
* Butter and eggs aren't refrigerated
* The beer isn't warm, each style is served at the proper temperature
* Cider (alcoholic) is quite good.
* Excess cider consumption can be very painful.
* The universal greeting is "Cheers" (pronounced "cheeahz" unless you are from Cornwall, in which case it's "chairz")
* The money is easy to understand: 1-2-5-10-20-50 pence, £1-£2 coins and £5-£10, etc bills. There are no quarters.
* Their cash makes ours look like Monopoly money
* Cars don't have bumper stickers
* Many doorknobs, buildings and tools are older than America
* By law, there are no crappy, old cars
* When the sign says something was built in 456, they didn't lose the "1"
* Cake is is pudding, ice cream is pudding, anything served for desert is pudding, even pudding
* BBC 4 is NPR
* Everything closes by 1800 (6pm)
* Very few people smoke, those who do often roll their own
* You're defined by your accent
* No one in Cornwall knows what the hell a Cornish Game Hen is
* Football is a religion, religion is a sport
* Europeans dress better then the British, we dress worse
* The trains work: a three minute delay is regrettable
* Drinks don't come with ice
* There are far fewer fat English people
* There are a lot of healthy old folks around participating in life instead of hiding at home watching tv
* If you're over 60, you get free tv and bus and rail passes.
* They don't use Bose anything anywhere
* Displaying your political or religious affiliation is considered very bad taste
* Every pub has a pet drunk
* Their healthcare works, but they still bitch about it
* Cake is one of the major food groups
* Their coffee is mediocre but the tea is wonderful
* There are still no guns
* Towel warmers!
* Cheers

There are some I particularly liked:
* They eat with their forks upside down
When we were in the US we couldn't believe that nobody could 'properly' use a knife and fork. The held them like children when cutting (hacking), and then shovelled it up

* The wall outlets all have switches, some don't do anything
I found it strange in the USA that they didn't have switches on outlets. Especially in a nation that sues everyone for everything.

* Black people are just people: they didn't quite do slavery here
I found this particularly good, because I always laugh at how overly PC I find Americans. I think making a point of being PC is racist. When everyone is treated the same, race is ignored.

* Scotland, Wales, Ireland and Cornwall really are different countries
Well the Republic of Ireland certainly is...Scotland and Northern Ireland are have their own special status's though they certainly travel on British Passports and so are British...Wales is a principality, but again part of the UK (ie. They're British).
Cornwall?! I understand historically this may be of some significance. But now? Cornwall is basically a county where the local council has additional powers.

* You pay the price marked on products because the taxes (VAT) are built in
This annoyed me soooo much in the USA. Why not just include tax in the price? Our sales tax (GST) legally has to be included in the advertised price, and I believe VAT in the UK is the same.

* Their cash makes ours look like Monopoly money
I was confused by this one, as Monopoly money is bright and colourful and American is almost all the same colour (well slightly different shades of it). British money is at least coloured (if not overly bright like Australian, NZ and Canadian).

* Europeans dress better then the British, we dress worse
I really liked this one, and 100% agree with it from my experience of travelling.

 

[ShiftyPowers]

Video of the proper way to use a knife and fork?

E: I don't cut like a barbarian, and don't change hands, but I also don't put food on the concave-down side of my fork. How does that make sense? Do you serve food on an inverted bowl? And if I don't have a knife, I'll use my right hand for the fork because I'm right handed.

I thought every single one of his observations was correct.

He didn't mean those places were literally different countries, Alex.

 

[Alex]

Video of the proper way to use a knife and fork?

E: I don't cut like a barbarian, and don't change hands, but I also don't put food on the concave-down side of my fork. How does that make sense? Do you serve food on an inverted bowl? And if I don't have a knife, I'll use my right hand for the fork because I'm right handed.

We use forks for forking things. We use spoons for scooping if it's something that should be scooped. In Asian nations that use cutlery, not chop sticks, people often use spoon and fork (fork still in the left) for exactly this reason. They eat loads of rice, and foods that can't really be "forked", hence need to be scooped. So they use a fork and spoon as they would a shovel and fork in a garden. When eating pasta (or noodles) people often only use a fork though but they twirl, they don't scoop.

There are loads of videos of it on youtube, or this is a wikihow which shows both, how the rest of the western world use cutlery, and how Americans do:
http://www.wikihow.com/Use-a-Fork-and-Knife

I thought every single one of his observations was correct.

He didn't mean those places were literally different countries, Alex.

Which I thought may have been the case, but also confused me - as Ireland is a separate country. Generally if someone says Ireland, they're referring to the Republic of...

 

[Bobby]

Ketchup is spelled with a K. It comes with a free gun.

 

[ShiftyPowers]

We use forks for forking things. We use spoons for scooping if it's something that should be scooped. In Asian nations that use cutlery, not chop sticks, people often use spoon and fork (fork still in the left) for exactly this reason. They eat loads of rice, and foods that can't really be "forked", hence need to be scooped. So they use a fork and spoon as they would a shovel and fork in a garden. When eating pasta (or noodles) people often only use a fork though but they twirl, they don't scoop.

I use the continental style. My grandpa was pretty strict about holding my cutlery properly with my elbows down. I twirl pasta, but with my right hand, because I'm not one of those weirdos who cut their pasta or use the spoon to assist in twirling (my grandpa did). He was only 2 generations removed from the old world, so that's probably where he got it from. If I only have a fork, I'll use my right hand because I'm right handed.

 

[Alex]

I use the continental style. My grandpa was pretty strict about holding my cutlery properly with my elbows down. I twirl pasta, but with my right hand, because I'm not one of those weirdos who cut their pasta or use the spoon to assist in twirling (my grandpa did). He was only 2 generations removed from the old world, so that's probably where he got it from. If I only have a fork, I'll use my right hand because I'm right handed.

Yeah I twirl pasta with my right. That was one of the exceptions I was trying to point out

 

[Mandieta6]

Who cares what hand you use to do what? Just eat comfortably.

 

[ShiftyPowers]

Philistine

 

[Mandieta6]

I dunno why you thought calling me Palestinean would offend me but you should at least spell it right.

 

[Theodorakis]

az got azzed, or Shifty got Shifty*med?

 

[Mus]

People put the fork in their right hand? Wtf

 

[Back Door Skip]

I'm left handed so I automatically eat properly.

 

[Alex]

People put the fork in their right hand? Wtf

Yeah - and you should see them chop things up. They stab it with their fork to hold it down, then hack away with the knife in their left hand. Sometimes they switch hands for cutting, but they still hold their fork backwards (with the top closest to the pinky, rather than the thumb) when holding it to chop up the food though. Then once chopped up they scoop up with the fork in their right.

 

[Bobby]

I'm going to create a show about Americans doing everyday things and sell it to networks in Australia and Britain, it'll be a hit.

 

[Alex]

I'm going to create a show about Americans doing everyday things and sell it to networks in Australia and Britain, it'll be a hit.

We already see plenty of those.

 

[Sir Didier Drogba]

A british guy in America's (slightly cliched) counter-list.

http://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2015/oct/08/america-guide-englishman-new-york

 

[Mandieta6]

This is going to come off Jewy but, as a cash-strapped student who might be spending a while in the US, the whole tipping thing scares me. In Spain, tipping is largely an older man's game. Waiters are paid well enough and tipping is advised but not expected, certainly not from students. I mean, do you really have to tip for everything? What if you're poorer than the waiter?

 

[ShiftyPowers]

You're a dick if you don't tip. Waiters are legally allowed to get paid below the minimum wage in America because tipping is expected, so no they aren't "paid well enough". If you can't afford 15% on top of your bill, you probably should not be eating food that expensive anyway. On a $40 bill, that's $6. Pizza delivery really only expects $2. Even when I'm poor I tip well because I've had to live off tips in the past.

 

[Back Door Skip]

I always tip 10% unless I'm feeling particularly baller-ish then I try to tip 30-40%.

 

[Back Door Skip]

This is going to come off Jewy but, as a cash-strapped student who might be spending a while in the US, the whole tipping thing scares me. In Spain, tipping is largely an older man's game. Waiters are paid well enough and tipping is advised but not expected, certainly not from students. I mean, do you really have to tip for everything? What if you're poorer than the waiter?

If you're not going to tip then you're more than likely stuck eating fast food. That's the only area where you're not expected to tip.