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masturbating on foreign territory (sponsored by luke chadwicks sex life)

S

Sir Calumn

Guest
Ok chaps an old concept but an interesting new question

what are your views on "public masturbation"

I dont mean doing your stuff in the middle of the high street and ****, i mean public toilets, toilets at work, bathrooms at friends houses, aeroplanes, your garden, the confessional etc etc

THE REASON I ASK:

The other day I missed a flight on account of being royally piss drunk and staggering about the airport thinking I was jesus........ I actually got tackled by security for barging my way through the metal detector queue but that's another story...... and couldnt get another flight for 12 hours, leaving me with twelve hours to kill in gatwick airport. I could have gone into london or home or something but I was drunk and poor and tired

anyway I was bored ****less (I spent three hours reading the bible in the multifaith chapel) and I was thinking I might be able to reduce this boredom by going to a spacious disabled cubicle in the commode and knocking one out to the thought of the beautiful euro boards which were wondering around in their skimpy european prostitute outfits.

I got as far as the cubicle.......... but it just felt wrong. I couldnt do it. I had the time, the space, but it just seemed nasty and dirty. BUT WHY?

A week or so later at work it suddenly occurred to me that I could go to the toilets when I should have been working and literally get paid to masturbate... the thought titillated me I must confess..... but again i declined.

What are your feelings on this sensitive issue?

If you spend a week in a hostel dorm room, do you go for an occasional bit of self relief in the showers? What if you're staying round a friends, everyones asleep but you're in the mood, and the bathroom has a lavender air freshener......

Opinions? Thoughts? Confessions?
 
H

Hans

How big is YOUR penis?
Nine years ago was the first time I have ever masturbated in "foreign territory". I was just finishing one of the exams for the university. Apparently, the place of the exam was located nearby an English course I used to attend during elementary school.

I kinda then remembered over a particular hot MILF teacher. And I got a hard on, and I really needed to get it off at that time.

I also had had some amazing experience masturbating at internet cafes after downloading some warez porn during college years.
 
K

Krypton X

Senior Squad
w00t!! that was a damn good F1 race, nothing like a ferrari win to get the blood pumping :innocent_smile_1:

Anyway, getting back to topic, I don't know if there's necessarily a right or wrong here, I know I'll probably also feel uncomfortable about jerking the gherkin after I've spent a few hours sitting in a chapel. Doing it in the confessional is also out of the question, it would be hard to get turned on when you're sitting on a few layers of dried out priest jizz.

Doing it at work/uni is a different matter and possibly is a lot more common than you think, I used to work at this place where every single cubicle in the men's restroom had at least one adult mag stashed behind the toilet seat, and when work was quiet the cubicles would fill out quickly and you'd have quite a wait on your hand before you can get one to free up.

Personally I've tried it a few times at work and found it to be a good way of releasing stress and/or getting rid of a nagging boner, if you can clear your head then you can get work done more efficiently.

I think the main rule here is not to get caught regardless of where you choose to do it. In public toilets for instance, where you have a gap between the door and the floor, anyone walking past might be able to tell what you're up to if you look like you're just standing there for a long time doing nothing. If you're one of those people that get really loud when they approach climax then this whole thing might not be the best idea for you. Most of the time when I've considered it I just cbf spending time wrapping the seat with toilet paper to seperate myself from the cesspool of germs before having to sit on it, so I would just bail out on the whole operation altogether.

Always think it through well before attempting it, and pick a time/place where there is a minimal chance of getting your a$$ busted. With some work places this can be relatively much easier than others, like in office settings where you can duck down to the loo round the corner at virtually any time of the day, or try one on another floor that might be less crowded. If you're working as a chef then you might not find it the most hygenic thing to do, and if you're a marine then it's not always convenient to run out in the middle of combat to release the pearl jam and then sneaking back to join the battalion like nothing happened. So it all depends on the circumstances.
 
H

Hans

How big is YOUR penis?
Have any of you guys tried jerking off in open spaces? Like a park or something...
 
S

Sir Calumn

Guest
I thought Hans would have some interesting contributions to this thread.

On a tangent, we once had the police round because my flatmate mastubated standing up in his bedroom with the curtains drawn, and the people across the street filed a complaint. One of the police officers who came to talk to him was a woman too :p

"Now, son, this is a bit of a delicate one...
 
S

Sir Calumn

Guest
Krypton X;2726657 said:
w00t!! that was a damn good F1 race, nothing like a ferrari win to get the blood pumping :innocent_smile_1:

Anyway, getting back to topic, I don't know if there's necessarily a right or wrong here, I know I'll probably also feel uncomfortable about jerking the gherkin after I've spent a few hours sitting in a chapel. Doing it in the confessional is also out of the question, it would be hard to get turned on when you're sitting on a few layers of dried out priest jizz.

Doing it at work/uni is a different matter and possibly is a lot more common than you think, I used to work at this place where every single cubicle in the men's restroom had at least one adult mag stashed behind the toilet seat, and when work was quiet the cubicles would fill out quickly and you'd have quite a wait on your hand before you can get one to free up.

Personally I've tried it a few times at work and found it to be a good way of releasing stress and/or getting rid of a nagging boner, if you can clear your head then you can get work done more efficiently.

I think the main rule here is not to get caught regardless of where you choose to do it. In public toilets for instance, where you have a gap between the door and the floor, anyone walking past might be able to tell what you're up to if you look like you're just standing there for a long time doing nothing. If you're one of those people that get really loud when they approach climax then this whole thing might not be the best idea for you. Most of the time when I've considered it I just cbf spending time wrapping the seat with toilet paper to seperate myself from the cesspool of germs before having to sit on it, so I would just bail out on the whole operation altogether.

Always think it through well before attempting it, and pick a time/place where there is a minimal chance of getting your a$$ busted. With some work places this can be relatively much easier than others, like in office settings where you can duck down to the loo round the corner at virtually any time of the day, or try one on another floor that might be less crowded. If you're working as a chef then you might not find it the most hygenic thing to do, and if you're a marine then it's not always convenient to run out in the middle of combat to release the pearl jam and then sneaking back to join the battalion like nothing happened. So it all depends on the circumstances.
Click to expand...
An interesting assessment, but you approach the matter purely from practical grounds with no thought as to the morality of the deed. Is it RIGHT to use public conveniences for such illicit purposes?
 
F

Filipower

Bunburyist
For me if it's a situation in which you have to think about whether it's right or wrong, then it's probably wrong.



Never done it though. Unless you consider a woman's mouth "foreign territory".
 
K

Krypton X

Senior Squad
They put you down and call you crazy
Say "You're disgusting and uncool!"
Just because you like to touch yourself
Out by the public swimming pool

You've gotta fight for your right to masturbate!
You've gotta fight for your right to masturbate!

You used to do it in the park
But the powers that be didn't like it
They called you "pervert" and "criminal"
Now you have to use a blanket

You've gotta fight for your right to masturbate!
You've gotta fight for your right to masturbate!

You've got to fight!
Pass the acorn butter!
7-11 two for a dollar!

They say that you'll go blind
And your ruining your health
But how can anybody love anyone in this crazy world
If you can't love yourself?

You've gotta fight for your right to masturbate!
You've gotta fight for your right to masturbate!
You've gotta fight for your right to masturbate!
You've gotta fight for your right to masturbate!

You've gotta fight! Awww...
 
U

Ulysses

Youth Team
every time you masturbate a fluffy bunny dies and if you're doing it on public everyone will know the author.
 
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