So I found this unusual site...

Status: Connecting ...
Status: Looking for a guide ...
Status: Connected to guide: AprilC
AprilC: Welcome to ChaCha!
You: Hi April
AprilC: Hi there, how are you?
You: Well, im actually looking on here to help aid my problem funnily enough!
You: I dont want to go into detail
AprilC: I understand, I see rectal disorder, is this a medical condition you are experiencing?
You: But is it possible that you could help me search for some rectal disorders please
You: Yes, spot on
You: Thank you
You: Could you help?
AprilC: Okay, I'll just look under those key words for the moment, and if you feel comfortable giving me any more details or symptoms, go right ahead.
You: Ok thank you
You: Ill take a look
You: Well i seem to have rather a lot of wind
You: And i am experiencing a bit of saggyness
AprilC: May I ask if there's any pain at all?
You: No, its mainly an odd shape and disfigured
You: But there is pain when...
You: well
AprilC: Go ahead, it's okay...
You: When i "excrete"
AprilC: Okay, so pain when you have a bowel movement, excessive gas, and disfigured rectum. Does that pretty much sum it up>?
You: Yes
You: Thats it!
You: Oh!
You: And there is discomfort
You: Its not pain
You: But great discomfort
AprilC: Okay, just sent you a site on fissures, doesn't exactly match symptoms, but you can take a look. Still searching for you.
AprilC: Looking at another meta search engine, I appreciate your patience...
You: Take your time, its ok, your doing me and my rectum a favour
AprilC: Happy to help.
AprilC: Do you ever have fever, diarrhea, or blood in stool?
You: What is stool?
You: Im sat on a chair
AprilC: Excrement, i.e. poop.
You: Also i feel discharge every know and then
You: Oh
You: No not really
AprilC: I'll send you this link regarding Ulcerative colitis anyway, but I don't think it's what your problem is. Still searching.
You: I dont know if this is relevant
You: But you know those mini pool tables
AprilC: Yes?
You: That contain the little balls
You: I swallowed one of those the other day
AprilC: Is there a particular reason you would do that?
You: No
You: I was just juggling them
You: And it fell in
AprilC: I sent you something on IBS (Irritable Bowel Syndrome) to see if you think that would apply at all.
AprilC: Wow, bad luck!
You: I know!
AprilC: How big was the ball?
You: Roughly the size of a pea
You: But its like steel or metal though
AprilC: When did your problems start?
You: In regards to when i swallowed the ball?
AprilC: Yes, did you have any of these problems before?
You: No not really
You: And it was about
You: 42 hours after the "incident"
You: Im usually such a good juggler aswell!
You: Maybe it was because i had tiny balls
AprilC: Well, maybe from now on you should keep your mouth closed when juggling.
You: That would be a good idea! hah
You: This irritable bowel syndrome is good
AprilC: Well, take a look at the IBS info I sent you. I would suggest, though, that if you continue to have these problems that you should maybe see a doctor and make sure the ball didn't get hung up in your colon somewhere.
You: Ok
You: Thanks for your help!
You: And for caring
AprilC: No problem, and good luck to you. Take care.
You: Good bye!
AprilC: Good bye!
AprilC: Please RATE ME. Thanks for using ChaCha.
Status: Session ended.

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Status: Connecting ...
Status: Looking for a guide ...
Status: Connected to guide: RickB
RickB: Welcome to ChaCha!
You: Hey what's up?
RickB: Welcome to ChaCha! Please wait a moment while I search for your results.
You: Need help finding god, he's a sneaky b@stard.
RickB: ok
You: i thought you internet guys might have him. a friend of mine found a russian bride too.
RickB: Here is a book
You: Does he work for you?
You: If god is a book, then were good.
RickB: No one works for me
RickB: Here is a site where some interviewed him
You: maybe another god? i heard they're multiplying..
RickB: which one are you looking for?
You: pffff these god's funny creatures aren't they.
RickB: Yep
You: any kind. but i prefer big ones and mighty ones you know.. ones with fire coming out of their hands and stuff
RickB: I am sorry, I can't seem to find him
RickB: Let me try soimething else
You: they told me you guys can find everything
RickB: Here is god.com
RickB: It might be his website
You: dang he has a website?
RickB: Are these results sufficient?
You: he's too mainstream. i want an underground god you know?
You: gods with internet lol...
RickB: I don't know what to tell you. I can transfer you to a different guide
You: can you transfer me to god?
RickB: I don't think so
RickB: I can try
Transfer: You are being transfered to another guide who can help you search even better!
Looking for guide ...
Status: Connected to guide: marys
marys: Welcome to ChaCha!
You: Hello god. proud to finally meet you! so how's life? and what keyboard do you use?
marys: Hi how are you today?
You: great. talking to god.. my day couldn't get any better
marys: That's great I talk with him too
You: but...
marys: I see others have sent sites do you not like them?
You: I thought you were god, some dude told me you're him
You: Oh i got it!
marys: Ok I will transfer you and maybe you can find him
marys: Bye now
Transfer: You are being transfered to another guide who can help you search even better!
Looking for guide ...
Status: Connected to guide: RebeccaA
RebeccaA: Welcome to ChaCha!
RebeccaA: Hello, how may I assist?
RebeccaA: Hello?
You: hello
RebeccaA: Shall I delete what is showing?
You: Are you god? or are you a phony like the last 2?
You: no
RebeccaA: No, I am definately not god
You: so where is that guy anyway these days?
RebeccaA: What is your search please?
You: i'm looking for god.
RebeccaA: I don't know if you will find that information online
RebeccaA: Do you want some web sites?
You: I heard he went like Emo underground
RebeccaA: I am closing session, due to no legitimate search available.
You: ohhhhhh come on
You: i know we just met, but i think i'm in love with you

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ShariK: Welcome to ChaCha!
ShariK: Hi there
You: hello
You: i am sorry, i type slowvery
ShariK: You are interested in a vacation where you can hunt your own meal?
You: very much
ShariK: Just a moment while I check
You: see i'm tired of getting arrested.
ShariK: Are you serious about this?
You: yes...
ShariK: okay, I'm still checking
You: iv'e been in on of these "resorts" in south america, but they only have kids.. and you know.. kiddy meals aren't enough for a big guy such as I.
ShariK: Okay, that should help you find some legitmet hunting resorts
ShariK: Please RATE ME. Thanks for using ChaCha.
Status: Session ended.

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Gerrard 17;2260039 said:

JenniferB: Sho' nuff!

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Sir Sir_Didier_Drogba;2260036 said:

Haha, some funny **** people. So far the undisputed master of this game is Krypton X, awesome work brother. I'm gonna give you major rep. This is my favourite bit:

"You: So what's the pay like over there?
ChristyM: It's $5 p/h
You: That's not much, it'll take me a very long time to save up for a child with that salary."

Your others were good too, man.

Anyway, I just made an important discovery, these guys only get paid for the time they actually spend talking to people, so it's in their interest to keep the conversations going aslong as possible. This should make the game a little easier.

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General Mayhem forums said:

Status: Looking for a guide ...
Status: Connected to guide: TaraM
TaraM: Welcome to ChaCha!
TaraM: Hi, how are you?
You: I'm fine, thanks
TaraM: Are you looking for anything specific about West Philadelphia?
You: yes ma'am, I was looking for the playground where I spent most of my days
You: Chillin' out maxin' relaxin' all cool And all shootin some b-ball outside of the school
TaraM: Ok, so you are looking for the Fresh Prince of Bel Air?
You: Yeah, see, what happened was When a couple of guys Who were up to no good Startin makin trouble in my neighborhood I got in one lil fight and my mom got scared She said 'You're movin' with your auntie and uncle in bel Air'
TaraM: So did the cab have dice in the mirror?
You: HOW DID YOU KNOW?
TaraM: LOL
TaraM: Because the license plate said Fresh, so I kind of linked the two together
You: SPOOKY.
You: K, gotta go

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Status: Connected to guide: RebeccaA
RebeccaA: Welcome to ChaCha!
RebeccaA: Hello
You: hello, looking for the name of a song with those lyrics
You: Big booty bitches thats where it gets Come on, hoe, let's go to the easy rest
RebeccaA: I am searching for you now
You: and the person who sings it too please
You: thanks
RebeccaA: Sure, I can search for that. Just give me a few minutes
You: I can buy you, hoe, 'cause bitch I'm rich. I see broke-ass hoes, broke-ass hoes
You: Let's see how you shake it on top of my dick And you'll say "Assault, I'm cuming. Assault, I'm cuming

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Status: Looking for a guide ...
Status: Connected to guide: MonicaC
MonicaC: Welcome to ChaCha!
You: Welcome to ChaCha!
MonicaC: Hi
You: hello, how can i help you?
MonicaC: Did you need me to search for you?
You: is there a specific question about seaching you would like me to search
You: Welcome to ChaCha! Please wait a moment while I search for your results.
MonicaC: Wait
You: yes?
MonicaC: On my screen it says I am the guide and you are the info seeker
You: no, i am the guide
You: on my screen you are an info seeker
MonicaC: Okay there must be something wrong
MonicaC: let's just close this session
MonicaC: Thank you for using ChaCha!
Status: Session ended.
Status: Looking for a guide ...
Status: Connected to guide: PamelaD
PamelaD: Welcome to ChaCha!
You: Welcome to ChaCha!
Transfer: You are being transfered to another guide who can help you search even better!
Looking for guide ...
Status: Connected to guide: SonyaE
SonyaE: Welcome to ChaCha!
You: Welcome to ChaCha!
SonyaE: thank you, hi!
You: what can i help you with?
SonyaE: My phrase is cock fights, do you want me to look that up for you
You: you want to know more about cock fights?
You: Welcome to ChaCha! Please wait a moment while I search for your results.
SonyaE: you're the infoseeker and I am the guide who looks up searches, did you know that
SonyaE: their must be an mistake, because I have my search page up. to search for you.
You: umm i am the guide on my screen
SonyaE: me too
You: are you messing with me?
SonyaE: no, not at all
SonyaE: this is the second time this happen to me
You: Thanks for searching ChaCha!
You: Please RATE ME. Thanks for using ChaCha.
SonyaE: thank you
SonyaE: Thank you for using ChaCha!
Status: Session ended.

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General Mayhem forums said:

Status: Looking for a guide ...
Status: Connected to guide: KN
KN: Welcome to ChaCha!
You: Hey
KN: Hello
You: So I have a quick question
KN: Sure.
You: If there's a plane on a treadmill.. like, a massive treadmill. And the treadmill matches the plane's speed, but in the opposite direction... will the plane ever take off?
KN: No.
You: Really?
KN: Yes.
KN: Thank you for using ChaCha!
Status: Session ended.

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Status: Looking for a guide ...
Status: Connected to guide: TeresaA
TeresaA: Welcome to ChaCha!
You: Hello TeresaA
TeresaA: Hi there. I will be helping with your search.
You: I had a question about Viagra. I need to know how long it takes for these things to kick in?
You: I have taken 3 pills already and nothing for like 20 minutes
TeresaA: Ok sure, just give me a few moments to find the best results
You: Ok hurry please... This bitch is getting expensive
You: $150 an hour. Can you believe that? what ever happened to the good ol days?
TeresaA: Thanks for being patient! Rest assured I'm finding the most relevant results for your search.
You: I really need to know. If its gonna take me more than 45 minutes to get hard, I might as well send this hooker to McDonalds. A big mac with a large boner please
You: know what I mean?
TeresaA: lol
TeresaA: Here is the official site
You: Oh oh wait, Im starting to get something...
You: I think its kicking in
TeresaA: the other 2 are message boards
TeresaA: all three should be helpful
TeresaA: maybe....
You: OMFG I AM HUGE!
You: 10 ******* INCHES!
TeresaA: !!!! WARNING !!!! abusive language by infoSeeker (10 ******* INCHES!)
TeresaA: Is there anything else on this topic I can find for you today?
You: I HAVE NEVER FELT SO LARGE AND IN CHARGE IN MY LIFE
You: wow! im getting lightheaded
You: its like im high!
You: wait...
You: can you look up adverse effects of passing out?
You: im not feelin,.fdddddddd
TeresaA: Thanks for using ChaCha! I hope you had a great search experience!
TeresaA: Enjoty your night!

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Status: Looking for a guide ...
Status: Connected to guide: JeremyM
JeremyM: Welcome to ChaCha!
JeremyM: Hello
You: hey jeremy, im just about to go out
You: i need an answer
JeremyM: Ok
You: does my bum look big in this dress?
JeremyM: your gonna go out at 4am?
You: it's not 4AM in australia, in fact, it's 8:20PM
JeremyM: How do I know if I cant see it, or a image of you?
You: oh, doesnt this webcam work?
JeremyM: Ohh rock on, plus its summer there, were now into winter here in the usa, and its like 20F brrr
JeremyM: theres no webcam on here honey
You: awww.....
You: that sucks
JeremyM: but if you post it on a page then i could see it
You: can you bear with me?
JeremyM: you have yahoo messenger?
You: ill see if i can upload it on my webspace
JeremyM: ok
JeremyM: do that cuz otherwise i wont know
You: ok, hold on please, you can wait cant you babe?
JeremyM: sure i get paid either way
You: ok, hold on, i took this earlier today when i tried out my outfit
JeremyM: ok but 5 mins yet is about all
You: k
You: its uploading now
You: here hun...
You:

JeremyM: ok so while im waiting you wanna give me your handle or something when i get there
JeremyM: ok
JeremyM: i hate this chat box i cant copy and paste
You: lolz
JeremyM: its all manual
You: awww... your gonna say i look fat, i can tell
JeremyM: just hang on i havent got there hang on
You: ok hun
You: keep in mind, this is for a club, i dont go out like this all the time
You: babe? aww... you think i look fat dont ya?
JeremyM: I wouldnt change a thing
JeremyM: but is that really you, I think thats a stock photo
JeremyM: Ive seen that somewhere before
You: nah babe, i took it today
You: bout an hour and a half ago
You: kinda hard to get the camera on that angle
JeremyM: can i get a front shot too?
You: but i did it
You: i didnt take one of my front
You: would you like me to?
JeremyM: Can I sink my teeth in that?
JeremyM: Hell yes
You: hey, dont be like that
You: hold up, ive got a pic of me from another day
You: different clothes tho
JeremyM: Ok I checked the domain of your page its definately from AUS
JeremyM: You are YumAY Babae!
You: awwww (K)
You: this is a pic of me and my friend kaz
You: ill upload now
JeremyM: Its soo cold here Id love you to be here, Id never leave the house
You: awww.... you're making me blush babe
JeremyM: Is it a new link?
You:

You: there
You: its an old one
You: few months back
You: im on the left
You: ignore my friend with the cup
JeremyM: You are YumAY! Babee
JeremyM: Bottom LINE+!
You: thanks sweetie
You: well i gotta run now, all my friends are here
JeremyM: I wouldnt think twice
JeremyM: wanna see me
You: i cant hun, i gotta run
You: sorry baby (K)
JeremyM: You look gr8
You: thankyou, wish me luck picking up tonight
JeremyM: id throw you a load in a heartbeat
JeremyM: Bye hun
JeremyM: Please RATE ME. Thanks for using ChaCha.
Status: Session ended

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Status: Connecting ...
Status: Looking for a guide ...
Status: Connected to guide: CarolynB
CarolynB: Welcome to ChaCha!
You: hello there carolyn
CarolynB: Hello
CarolynB: How are you today?
You: well, thats the problem
You: i was sat in the garden earlier today
CarolynB: Sure what can I help with today?
You: and i thought i would look at the sun through my telescope
You: i loked for a while, but things just started to get brighter and brighter
CarolynB: Ut-O did you call the doctor?
You: until a searin pain shot through my head
You: i didn't
You: i tried, but couldn't make out the numbers on the phone
CarolynB: Ok so what would you like me to do for you ?
You: well, its rather painful at the moment
You: i was wondering if you could find any remedies
CarolynB: Let me see what I can find for you hang on a moment
You: thank you so much
You: i'm currently wearing my wifes sunglasses to block out the light
You: but this is rather impractical as i am a scuba diving teacher
CarolynB: Hey if I send over information to you HOW will you read it lol
You: that is a very good point
CarolynB: & If you cannot make out the numbers on the phone you do a good job typing
You: i hadn't thought of that
You: do you think you could send it in printable braille, or perhaps audio?
CarolynB: Hmm cant find anything like that sorry
You: are you sure?
You: my wife could read out the information to me then
CarolynB: Ok then tell her to dial the doctor for you wouldnt that help?
You: yes, i suppose it might
You: i have a driving test tomorrow
CarolynB: I wouldnt want you to go to long like that
You: do you think you could find out wether i can wear sunglasses during the test
CarolynB: Oh well that may not be a good thing
CarolynB: For what scuba diving? lol
You: no, for my driving test
You: please dont try to make jokes out of my life.
CarolynB: I am not I am sorry
CarolynB: I was just asking a question
You: ok, but no, a car driving test
CarolynB: Ok let me see what I can find for you but I would really suggest calling that dr please
You: i shall get me wife on it whilst i talk to you, let me just find her key
You: because of my impaired vision i cant find where i put my wifes key
CarolynB: Why dont you ask her to find them for you
You: well i need to let her out
CarolynB: I have read & it says no sunglasses allowed when taking a driving test
CarolynB: Let your wife out?
You: oh no
You: she isn't allowed near other people so i keep her away from them
CarolynB: I would just call the dr & see what they say either that or take an asprin & lay down
CarolynB: Why would that be does she bite?
CarolynB: Oh no did I loose you?
You: no she doesn't, i just prefer to keep her locked away
CarolynB: Oh wow thats not nice
You: it keeps her more eager
You: it benefits me
CarolynB: See in situation like this you need her right now so keeping her locked up isnt nice
CarolynB: How? lol
CarolynB: Your not thinking quick enough
CarolynB: OK well you enjoy the rest of your beautiful sunshne day & stay out of the sun PLEASE Bye
CarolynB: Thank you for using ChaCha!
Status: Session ended.

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Filipower;2261273 said:

yeah, you're a guy posing as a girl, report him.

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Stotty;2261276 said:

I love the part where she asks me how i'm going to read the information she sends

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Krypton X;2260931 said:

Sir_Didier_Drogba cheers for the big rap man, although I think I've been outdone here quite a few times already. This whole thread gets major props for all the class posts people have been adding. I'm picking up loads of ideas for things to try next time I feel the need to kill some free time; chacha chronic, mail order brides, suicide advice, spiritual apparitions, burial sites, keep 'em coming dudes.

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Search: "Flatulence"

Status: Connecting ...
Status: Looking for a guide ...
Status: Connected to guide: DesireeF
DesireeF: Welcome to ChaCha!
DesireeF: Hello, I am Desiree and I will be helping you with your search today.
You: umm...yes, hello
DesireeF: Would you like general information on flatulence or something more specific on the topic?
You: what causes the offensive odour, to be exact
DesireeF: I'll be more than happy to find that for you.
DesireeF: One moment please while I search the topic.
You: I ate a brick of blue cheese and a bunch of pickled eggs...then chased it with a couple pints of Guiness
DesireeF: Oh I see lol.
You: My wife is going to divorce me when she comes home and smells the house!
You: smells like a cross between baby vomit and a horse farm in here
DesireeF: Well we don't want that to happen.
You: we certainly don't
You: I can't open a window either because it's freezing outside!
You: I'm dyin' in here man!
DesireeF: I'm sure it'll be ok in a little bit.
DesireeF: I sent ya a link about home remedies.
You: I hope so.. but how am I going to explain the brown streak in my shorts? The wife does all the laundry..
You: this is so embarrassing
You: oh my god
DesireeF: I deal with it all the time with my husband so I do understand.
You: the gas or the soiled underwear?
DesireeF: Both.
You: oh my
You: it doesn't turn you off?
DesireeF: Would you like me to find more sites on this topic?
DesireeF: Not really, I'm used to it I guess.
You: I would like to thank you for your support on this matter
DesireeF: You are more than welcome. Good luck to you.
You: you ever sniff his shorts?
DesireeF: Oh my no.
You: ok
DesireeF: Well you have a good day. Bye bye.
You: bye
DesireeF: Please RATE ME. Thanks for using ChaCha.
Status: Session ended.

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Status: Connecting ...
Status: Looking for a guide ...
Status: Connected to guide: CarmelinaB
CarmelinaB: Welcome to ChaCha!
You: Hi Carmelina
CarmelinaB: how are you today?
You: are you prepared to find out what my search word is?
You: fine thank you
CarmelinaB: What is it that you needed to search?
You: that's what you'll have to find out
You: ask me a question
CarmelinaB: I'm sorry, but time is limited and I'm afraid it will cut us off. so, if you could be so kind and tell me, it would be the best way to work.
You: i can only answer with yes, no or maybe
You: that's not a question carmelina
You: there are prizes to be won
CarmelinaB: Please be more specific as to what you're looking for on this topic.
You: not a question aswell
CarmelinaB: I'm happy to do all the searching for you. However, i can not perform a search if you don't provide the search term.
You: if you can find out what my search word is
You: there won't be a problem
You: ask away
You: and win a prize
CarmelinaB: What is the search term you are looking for today?
You: only questions i can answer yes, no or maybe to
CarmelinaB: I'm sorry that I am unable to help you. I must be professional at all times, and games are not permitted.
You: could you find me a guide who would be interested at winning $1000?
CarmelinaB: The rule applies to ALL guides. I am sorry.
You: $1500?
CarmelinaB: I hope you come back to ChaCha again soon!
CarmelinaB: Thank you for using ChaCha!
Status: Session ended.

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