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Just started University/College...

T

The Don't

Starting XI
I started University two weeks ago today yet I still feel like I'd rather be back at home.

I'm living with five other people who, as my lack of luck would have it, are all second years. So fresher's week was a bit of a pain in the arse in that respect although I did go out a few nights so I can't complain.

I think things would be a lot easier if they were first years, due to that 'everyone is in the same boat' scenario. What's more, there are only two other males; one is Chinese and can barely speak English, the other is a highly irritating camp/gay muslim. Befriending these two is not high on my agenda.

I haven't yet made any friends on my course, I'm finding it difficult as most people seem to already have made their own groups.

During the day I pretty much have no idea what to do. I sit in my room on my own, I suppose I could go to the Student Union bar on my own but...what the hell do I do after I've bought my drink?

I'm aware that I'm whinging here but ah well, I'm depressed.

Anyone else struggling/struggled when they first started?
 
O

O-car

Starting XI
I'm having the same thing right now man, fortunately though I have the option of driving back home every weekend since I am renting a place less than an hour away. I live alone so that makes it harder to make friends, I've wondered about going to the bar that some people from my course frequent, but as you said, what do you do after you get you're drink?
hope this gets easier next year when I go to the States to study
 
C

champdave

SG Sheffield Authority
I've just started too (been here over 2 weeks aleady!) but I'm lucky enough to be in halls of residence, so it's been relatively easy to get to know people.

Have lectures started yet? You'll get to know a lot more people once you're in your classes. :)
 
T

Tom

That Nice Guy
Tom, as a home student who totally missed freshers week (and still doesnt "go out" much, as Dave will testify), i know exactly what you mean. But without wanting to sound bigheaded, im now the most popular guy on our course.

95% of my friends ive made through my course, via lectuers/seminars. It's all about being confident, friendly and funny, a mixture of the three. In lectueres/seminars, try answering questions and making jokes and stuff, it makes you look totally approachable to people, rather than "that guy" who sits on his own. Ok? In seminars, its even easier, try making jokes, answering questions, asking questions, and generally being very open (in your body language). After wards, try speaking to the people you've been speaking to in the class, cos theyll see you as being friendly. Then just simply say summet like; "so you guys off home now?" thats the killer question, cos it tells you EVERYTHING about whether they like you (H)

What i mean is, their response gives everything away, if they dont want you around, theyll say yes. Unlikely, but possible. Any other response is good, they might say; "oh we're going to the pub", theyre unlikely to say that UNLESS they then ask if you want to come, or "we're going for something to eat". Just stuff like that.

Basically, be REALLY friendly on your course (like i was) and then just continue to be friendly, e.g. cracking jokes about the lecturer and stuff, after you leave. People will really start to get on with you.

By the way, if you dont believe me that i have a problem with this stuff, feel free to check out the "confidence" thread i made a year or so ago.
 
A

Aleex

Banned [Multiple Accounts]
Life Ban
Tom said:
Tom, as a home student who totally missed freshers week (and still doesnt "go out" much, as Dave will testify), i know exactly what you mean. But without wanting to sound bigheaded, im now the most popular guy on our course.

95% of my friends ive made through my course, via lectuers/seminars. It's all about being confident, friendly and funny, a mixture of the three. In lectueres/seminars, try answering questions and making jokes and stuff, it makes you look totally approachable to people, rather than "that guy" who sits on his own. Ok? In seminars, its even easier, try making jokes, answering questions, asking questions, and generally being very open (in your body language). After wards, try speaking to the people you've been speaking to in the class, cos theyll see you as being friendly. Then just simply say summet like; "so you guys off home now?" thats the killer question, cos it tells you EVERYTHING about whether they like you (H)

What i mean is, their response gives everything away, if they dont want you around, theyll say yes. Unlikely, but possible. Any other response is good, they might say; "oh we're going to the pub", theyre unlikely to say that UNLESS they then ask if you want to come, or "we're going for something to eat". Just stuff like that.

Basically, be REALLY friendly on your course (like i was) and then just continue to be friendly, e.g. cracking jokes about the lecturer and stuff, after you leave. People will really start to get on with you.

By the way, if you dont believe me that i have a problem with this stuff, feel free to check out the "confidence" thread i made a year or so ago.
Click to expand...

Sorry, Tom, but from what you wrote you seem like a total attention seeker, and a big fake. I am not trying to be mean here, but doing stuff just that people will notice you, is as much fake as person could get.
 
T

Tom

That Nice Guy
haha (H)

You know full well i dont mean shouting "LOOK AT ME", i mean, being open. Listen, we've all known the one guy who sits on his own, doesnt say anything, and just does work. We've all known someone like that. But I know, even from just a handful of posts on an online forum, that Tom is more interesting and sociable than that.

If you are, then all you need to do is be open, listen to people, interact with people, but most importantly, be approachable.

So no, i dont mean fake, cos i know many people who are fake and have hundreds of "friends", and that aint me, fake people are fake cos they talk to certain friends differently than they would to other friends, dont ever do that, cos its a recipe for disaster once you all get together.
 
C

champdave

SG Sheffield Authority
Aleex said:
Sorry, Tom, but from what you wrote you seem like a total attention seeker, and a big fake. I am not trying to be mean here, but doing stuff just that people will notice you, is as much fake as person could get.
Click to expand...

Tom's a fake just because he's friendly and approachable?

:rolleyes:
 
C

Callum

Guest
champdave said:
Tom's a fake just because he's friendly and approachable?

:rolleyes:
Click to expand...

no, thats not what he meant. By toms post it somewhat gave off the impression he is the loud obnoxious one trying to be the big man and get attention, I know thats not what he meant, but I can see how alex got that impression.
 
A

Aleex

Banned [Multiple Accounts]
Life Ban
Tom, I never though of you even being fake, but it seemed that in your first post your advise was "to be little fake, in order for others to notice you". This kind of advise I did not like.

I see your point also. If people really want to get new friends, they need to be a bit more open then ussual.
 
A

Aleex

Banned [Multiple Accounts]
Life Ban
champdave said:
No, he came across me.

Got a bit of midlands treatment :p
Click to expand...

What? Are you kidding me, kid? Check your diapers, Chimpdave, cause you smell like ****!
 
C

champdave

SG Sheffield Authority
Aleex said:
What? Are you kidding me, kid? Check your dippers, Chimpdave, cause you smell like ****!
Click to expand...

What are dippers? Are you retarded, kid?

edit/ can you really "speack" Ukranian?
 
A

Aleex

Banned [Multiple Accounts]
Life Ban
champdave said:
What are dippers? Are you retarded, kid?
Click to expand...

How old are you, Monkeyboy? Stop showcasing your "manhood" on soccer forum, and go see the real world. I dont need some little ass b***h, showing his attitude here. If you have some problems, you not gonna solve it on the forum. Get a life.
 
C

champdave

SG Sheffield Authority
Aleex said:
How old are you, Monkeyboy? Stop showcasing your "manhood" on soccer forum, and go see the real world. I dont need some little ass b***h, showing his attitude here. If you have some problems, you not gonna solve it on the forum. Get a life.
Click to expand...

Can you provide conclusive evidence of me showcasing my phallus?

I have a life thank you very much. Coming from someone whose only interest apparantly is studying very hard for a maths test I think that's a touch ironic. I think the question is really how old are you? According to your profile you're about a year older than me but you sure don't act it.

I do enjoy a good bit of sarcasm, so please, carry on. If you want me to make you up a pet name for you I'll happily do it :ewan:
 
ShiftyPowers

ShiftyPowers

Make America Great Again
Aleex said:
Tom, I never though of you even being fake, but it seemed that in your first post your advise was "to be little fake, in order for others to notice you". This kind of advise I did not like.

I see your point also. If people really want to get new friends, they need to be a bit more open then ussual.
Click to expand...

I don't think there's anything wrong with being "fake" for the record.
 
S

Sir Calumn

Guest
Tom said:
Tom, as a home student who totally missed freshers week (and still doesnt "go out" much, as Dave will testify), i know exactly what you mean. But without wanting to sound bigheaded, im now the most popular guy on our course.

95% of my friends ive made through my course, via lectuers/seminars. It's all about being confident, friendly and funny, a mixture of the three. In lectueres/seminars, try answering questions and making jokes and stuff, it makes you look totally approachable to people, rather than "that guy" who sits on his own. Ok? In seminars, its even easier, try making jokes, answering questions, asking questions, and generally being very open (in your body language). After wards, try speaking to the people you've been speaking to in the class, cos theyll see you as being friendly. Then just simply say summet like; "so you guys off home now?" thats the killer question, cos it tells you EVERYTHING about whether they like you (H)

What i mean is, their response gives everything away, if they dont want you around, theyll say yes. Unlikely, but possible. Any other response is good, they might say; "oh we're going to the pub", theyre unlikely to say that UNLESS they then ask if you want to come, or "we're going for something to eat". Just stuff like that.

Basically, be REALLY friendly on your course (like i was) and then just continue to be friendly, e.g. cracking jokes about the lecturer and stuff, after you leave. People will really start to get on with you.

By the way, if you dont believe me that i have a problem with this stuff, feel free to check out the "confidence" thread i made a year or so ago.
Click to expand...
What an amazing post this is, so refreshing to see someone truly think about a question and answer it as well and effectively as they possibly can, with the result that is has been of genuine and serious help to he who asked it. Great stuff (Y)
 
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