Holy Snitsky Empire Wanderers thread

Azizzada wants to wreak havoc

FUTBOL TORA BORA -- Holy Snitsky Empire Wanderers' newest acquisition -- and the result of an affirmative action hire -- Arash Azizzada is ready and wants to wreak havoc. In an interview with the Afghan soccer daily, the superstar explained his anger.

"Let me first say, I wouldn't be here without Snitsky. May Allah bless this generous man. He's the person that made sure I had my visa. He's the one that personally sent a chopper to my cave to pick me up. I don't think a guy like Roman [Abramovich] or Shifty [Snyder] would've done that. They're stretch-limousine guys. Snitsky is a chopper guy. And I like chopper guys."

Azizzada was asked about his future at HSEW: "Oh, I'm ready. I want to cause pain, I want to wreak havoc. I wanna destroy. I'm a soldier and Snitsky is the commander-in-chief!"

Azizzada was asked about his temper. "Temper? You must be kidding." He than slowly walked over to his fish tank and killed 50 fish, decapitating some of them with a paper cutter that was lying nearby. "You guys make up the oddest stories."

From bbc.co.uk:

FIFA has asked Holy Snitsky Empire Wanderers director of football Denis Sharpe to explain his latest criticism of President Sepp Blatter.
Sharpe said on Saturday that the official had cost his side dear with their 'red tape pish' in their pursuit of Bobo Balde, who favoured East Fife in the face of hot competition from Wanderers for his signature.

Earlier in the season, Blatter alleged that Sharpe had called him a 'peep swazzyer' after the Wanderers were fined £10,000 for a previous allegation of the FIFA board 'fancying SmackDown'.

A FIFA spokesman said: "We will be writing to Denis Sharpe again to explain his conduct."

"It was a sore one because we lost the race so late and again it was that f*cking wannabe internal organ piss-sack who cost us," Sharpe said after admitting defeat in the chase.

"Bladder is off making stupid arse rules such as red cards for fair, leg-shattering tackles and unable to process our f*cking request to sign Bobo. Now he's off to East Fife, I wouldn't be surprised to see our form suffer, especially with this shower of f*cking mincers in our side. If that turns out to be the case, FIFA can expect to hear from my lawyers."

"Bobby [Brandon, Wanderers' manager] and I are very disappointed. It is a black footballing day at Wanderers, yet not as black as Bobo. Heh."

from the Scotsman:

Wanderers step up chase for Rangers duo
Burke, Malcolm being chased

GLESGA -- Rangers and HSE Wanderers are trying to come to a deal for 2 players, Chris Burke and Bob Malcolm. The price is rumored to be somewhere around £2.1m at first, with the price going up to around £4m depending on goals by Burke, and people offended by Malcolm.

"It'd be great if we can get it done ahead of our match against Royals" said HSEW Co-Owner Bobby Brandon. He added "Malcolm is a great defender, and his interviews and overall behavior will surely cause problems for the media."

"Burke is another one, if you saw what he did against Romania then you know what he's able to do".

The duo would be the first cash transfers by the club, who earlier signed Stern John on a bosman.

http://www.muchosucko.com/video-polishsoccerhooligans.html

this is hseu's initiation ceremony

Originally posted by PeeJay2K2
Cos obviously there's another ex-CS member on the forums Ewan mentioned

You can be a proper daft plank sometimes, Shifty...

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I'll take a guess that it is either PhiLLer or that Welsh bastard sheepshagger JJ

CS was a real sh*tty site

Stott looking to Halifax Town Match

Speaking to teamtalk.co.uk yesterday, Nick Stott spoke of how much he was looking forward to the match against his home town, Halifax Town. Despite being a firm favourite throughout pre-season, Stott now faces competition from the fabulous new signing, Stern John. Brian Mengerick and Dragan Tucakovic also provide competition, however, we can't be serious when talking about the pairs footballing hopes.

Stott told our reporter yesterday: "Gene will love eur few Yorksha puddings 'n um gravy. it'll chuffin' prepare 'im fert match. should be eur gran' encounta. Ah'm goan tek 'im ta uz grans eur she'll cuk 'im up eur real treet."

When asked about a scandal previously spoke about by star forward, Dragan Tucakovic, Stott denied all knowledge. " Fra wha' ah can see, tucakovic is worried by t' fact 'e doesn't av t' numba 9 shot dis season. 'e is tryin ta gerr uz thrown art o' t' club for dis numba, 'n 'e's tryin ta cova up 'is own problems."

Star Transvestite caught on Cam!



The Sun can exclusively reveal this photo, believed to be Holy Snitsky Empire Wanderers superstar stiker Dragan Tucakovic.
The photo was taken by an unknown member of the press at a secret transvestite party held in a cellar in the dark alleys of copenhagen. Tucaokovic was believed to be a guest at this party, pictured above in a long dark dress. You can clearly make out the famous beard, and dark hair possessed by the Croatian WizKid. With the season yet to get started, there has been continuous speculation surrounding the wrestling ring/football stadium of the HSEW, with reports of scandals, new signings, and Snitsky's stunning moves.

Speaking to Gene earlier on about the photos, "Dragan is a fine player, and a does his work in the boardroom. However we can't allow ladyboy's on the team. I'm going to have to sort the youngster out with a closeline around the neck and an elbow in the stomach. We have to remember, we can't confirm that this is Tucakovic in the photo"

HSEW kick off their pre-season campaign tomorrow, and will be hoping for a win, with Azizzada already stating ""Oh, I'm ready. I want to cause pain, I want to wreak havoc. I wanna destroy. I'm a soldier and Snitsky is the commander-in-chief!"

HSEW star arrested

GLESGA --- Holy Snitsky Empire Wanderers' young starlet NICK STOTT was yesterday taken into custody for questioning regarding child pornography.

The Sun can exclusively reveal the player took pictures of himself and posted them on the Internet for everyone to see.

This regards a picture printed earlier in the day, a picture of what looks to be a transvestite. Stott came out and said that this transvestite was fellow Wanderers player, Dragan Tucakovic.

However, after his house was raided after a neighbour saw Stott naked and posing for a webcam and called the authorities, the original, untampered image was discovered on the player's computer. It turned out the picture was actually of him(her?)self.

As Stott is yet to turn 18, these pictures are considered to be under-age child pornography. But as a minor, the player cannot be charged under federal laws. He(she?) will most likely receive disciplinary action from HSEW.

Stott was unavailable for comment.

More to follow.

::repares to streak at tommorow's match:::

Originally posted by Dragan T
HSEW Owners Come Clean
February 17, 2005

When asked about the recent comments by Nick Stott and Rob Langdon concerning the starting 11 for HSEW, co-owner Bobby Brandon had this to say:

"I really don't know what their problem is. The starting players against the Royals are all on-form players, who also did well during pre-season. Stott and Langdon think they're bigger and better than others, as if they were the only ones who did well in the training matches. Especially Stott, who ever since he was assigned squad number 9, has been walking around like he owns the club. Their behaviour won't do the team any good."

We were also able to get hold of fellow co-owner Tucakovic moments later for this comment:

"I just got off the phone with Gene (HSEW goalie/manager), and he was not happy. Langdon and Stott should consider themselves lucky they're still on the bench after their comments. Especially considering Stott's impending internet chatting scandal."

When asked to elaborate on what he meant with Stott's Internet Chatting scandal, Tucakovic was cool and precise:

"Let's just say it's got something to do with nude web-cam chatting with minors..."

There was unfortunately no more time for questions, since Tucakovic was on his way to a meeting with Snitsky and Brandon.

-Article taken from the HSEU Chronicle

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Well written.

Yeah, not bad for a Keyboard Hero...

Originally posted by PeeJay2K2
Yeah, not bad for a Keyboard Hero...

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I thought I told you to fu*k off, kid.


Final warning.

Or what? You'll tell daddy?

he'll card or even ban you, don't mess with dragan or rhino

I have no quarrel with you Rhino... But Dragan's an anti-Welsh cunt...

if you got a problem with dragan you got a problem with me.

Oh, i didn't know you two were bum-chums

Originally posted by PeeJay2K2
I have no quarrel with you Rhino... But Dragan's an anti-Welsh cunt...

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Who the fu*k told you I was anti-Welsh? .....dumbass


Rhino > > PeeGay2k2

PeeGay

Originally posted by Dragan T
Who the fu*k told you I was anti-Welsh? .....dumbass


Rhino > > PeeGay2k2

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Rhino AND Dragan> > PeeGay






Dragan,you should ban him

Originally posted by Frostwolf
HSEW star arrested

GLESGA --- Holy Snitsky Empire Wanderers' young starlet NICK STOTT was yesterday taken into custody for questioning regarding child pornography.

The Sun can exclusively reveal the player took pictures of himself and posted them on the Internet for everyone to see.

This regards a picture printed earlier in the day, a picture of what looks to be a transvestite. Stott came out and said that this transvestite was fellow Wanderers player, Dragan Tucakovic.

However, after his house was raided after a neighbour saw Stott naked and posing for a webcam and called the authorities, the original, untampered image was discovered on the player's computer. It turned out the picture was actually of him(her?)self.

As Stott is yet to turn 18, these pictures are considered to be under-age child pornography. But as a minor, the player cannot be charged under federal laws. He(she?) will most likely receive disciplinary action from HSEW.

Stott was unavailable for comment.

More to follow.

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Yes, my plan worked, he's busted